The Rebel Queen (Outlaw #1) - Lexi Blake Page 0,62

girl. She’d been taught the highest religion of our class—to look the other way as long as it didn’t affect us,” he said with a chuckle. “Some things never change, do they? It’s why I find you fascinating. You could have had quite a good life. The Council would have offered you and Daniel anything you liked so long as you didn’t cause trouble. I’ve thought a lot about it. You didn’t do it because you thirsted for the crown.”

“I did it because the old Council was threatening the world.”

“Not your world. At least not as long as you stayed in line,” Alexander pointed out.

“It’s all my world. That’s the thing, isn’t it? Louis was going to subjugate the wolves.” That time seemed so long ago and yet it had only been a little past a decade for me. “I’m not a wolf, but I knew what it meant to be under Louis’s thumb. I could have stayed silent and it might have bought us time, but he would always have come for us. They always come for you in the end, no matter how compliant you are. A tyrant needs someone to crush. When he’s crushed everyone else, it’s your turn. So instead of waiting, it’s better to stand and fight with those first targets. It’s better to go down fighting with them than to wait your turn.”

“Ah, but many of them didn’t fight with you in the first place. You fought for them. Even when they didn’t appreciate you.”

“I’m not some saint.”

“Of course not, but you are different. Which is why I’m surprised you’re wilting in the face of this challenge, my queen. I’ll be honest. I expected you to be all…peppy about it.”

Not even the serial killer understood my plight. “I’m sorry I can’t be happy I lost twelve years with my children. I can’t be happy my friends are dead.”

“There are always losses in war.” Alexander stood again. “Well, I wish you luck finding your way back to the time when you didn’t have to fight at all.”

I didn’t like the idea that I was trying to get out of a fight, but I deserved some peace. “I just wanted to raise my kids.”

“Then you should have stayed silent. Then you never should have put on that crown. You should have refused Daniel, who was always going to be here, and run with your lover to the safety of a sithein.”

They weren’t as safe as people made them out to be. But he was right about one thing. Being the queen didn’t mean safety. It meant sacrifice, and in that moment I resented the hell out of it. The truth of the matter was I hadn’t been given a choice. If I loved Daniel and stood by him, I had to become the queen. In the years since, I’d been more than happy to let him and Dev run the supernatural world while I focused on being a wife and a mom and a friend. Every now and then I hosted a state dinner or smiled and waved.

I’d liked that life. Was it awful to want it back? To fight to get it back?

“These are interesting times, Your Highness. But if you want to return to a less complex time, I won’t stop you. Or mention it to anyone else. There are a couple of acquaintances of mine who can perhaps even aid in your endeavors,” he said smoothly. “But you should know that time travel is fraught with inconsistencies. And just because you manage to make it back to what you consider a proper timeline, it doesn’t mean this one goes away. At least not theoretically.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you honestly believe I haven’t thought about it?” Alexander asked. “Haven’t thought about going back and warning my younger self that a Hunter would take down the greatest predator of all time? I’ve had a hundred plus years to fill, and I’m no longer allowed to practice my favorite hobby. I don’t know if what you seek is possible at this point, but the likeliest positive outcome would be starting a new timeline. You would go back to when you left, but this timeline is already established. It can’t be erased. You would merely split reality and go a different direction, leaving all of us without your presence.”

Leaving my kids here without me? “You can’t possibly know that.”

He shrugged, a negligent gesture. “I can’t know it for certain. I suppose you’ll find out.” He