He had our mother’s dark skin and wild curls. He laughed at everything. He loved people. Everyone. He could sit for hours studying history or reading ancient texts. He had our law books memorized by age fifteen and Coalition Fleet regulations at seventeen. He understood politics, alliances, knew how to read people. He always seemed to know what to say to gain their trust.”
Zara’s hand slid up onto my chest to rest over my heart, and I wrapped my hand around hers, taking the small comfort as memories of my brother bubbled up like a raw wound, and the pain I’d spent the past four years running from exploded within me like a desert storm, the grains of sand rubbing me raw from the inside out.
“You loved him,” she said. “A lot.”
“Yes. Everyone in the region loved him. He had two dozen mating offers by the time we were twelve.”
She lifted her pale gaze to mine, whispered, “So what happened?”
“I did. I find history, politics and law to be an absolute bore. I could not sit still for lessons and constantly found myself in trouble. As often as my father praised Malik, he took me to task.” I paused, remembering one instance that buried the pain and made me laugh. “When we were eleven, I convinced Malik that we needed to capture and tame our own wild mounts. So, we packed a pair of reins and snuck out under the double moons to stalk the hairy beasts.”
“And?”
“And we found them, all right. Right next to a den of—well, you won’t know what they are—but their defense is a pungent spray that soaks the skin and hair.”
“Like a skunk?”
“I do not know a skunk, but one of the wild mounts kicked me because while they are big and fierce, they fear the smelly vermin. I flew into the nearby nest, and the smaller creatures sprayed me from head to toe.”
“Oh, no.” Her eyes were alight with laughter, and I knew she grasped the concept of the creatures at least.
“Malik had to practically carry me home since we were stupid enough to forget a ReGen wand. I had three broken ribs, a broken arm from the kick, and I reeked of this, as you say, skunk-like spray. We both had to bathe. We tried everything but could not get the scent from my hair. So Malik shaved my head then shaved his own to match. He sneaked down to the medic’s office and brought a ReGen wand to heal my broken bones, and then we both lied to our parents, saying we saw the bald head of one of the guards and decided we liked the look.”
Zara was chuckling now. “They believed you?”
The happiness died in my heart as the memory came to its inevitable conclusion. “They pretended to. But that night, when Malik was out with one of his tutors and I was alone, my father came to me, as he did many times, and berated me for being a bad influence on my brother. Because of me, Malik risked his life unnecessarily, stole from the doctor, lied to his parents, and looked like a fool with his head shaved.”
She frowned. “That’s terrible. You were just boys having fun. That’s what kids do.”
“Not when you are the son of a High Councilor.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I was angry. At myself. At my brother. Because my father was right. It happened over and over again. I was always getting Malik into trouble. The day he died, I had convinced him to steal a desert rover with me. We were out jumping sand dunes when he lost control and the vehicle flipped, crushing him. I had a ReGen wand this time, but it wasn’t enough. He died before the medical teams could arrive.”
“It was an accident, Isaak.”
“It was no accident that I convinced Malik to go. He was supposed to be studying.”
“How old were you?”
“Twenty. It was a week before our birthday.”
She didn’t speak, just wrapped her arms around me and rested her cheek over my heart. Her silence gave me the courage to finish.
“I was on my knees in the desert, crying over my brother's dead body when my parents arrived.” I shuddered. I couldn’t stop my body’s reaction to the memory. “My father stood over me and told me the wrong son had died that day.”
She gasped, her eyes wide. “Oh my God. No, Isaak. He didn't mean that! He was in pain.”
“No, gara, he was right. Malik was better than I am, in