This wasn’t a mindfuck at all, just Ryder yet again doing exactly what I didn’t expect.
He had no ulterior motive.
He’d saved me to do just that—save me.
And now he had every intention of ensuring I survived. He even wanted to continue to train me.
A rule breaker until the end.
A royal who did the opposite of what society told him to do.
A man who did what he wanted, however he wanted it.
“You’re looking at me strangely,” he observed, his tone holding a touch of uncertainty. “I don’t handle displays of emotion well, Willow. If you’re about to cry, please don’t. I won’t be able to fix it.”
No, I imagined he wouldn’t. Because he thought with logic and resolve. His way of showing he cared was through pragmatic behavior, such as by sparring with me.
That hadn’t been for him, my mortal form too slow to keep up with his immortal strength and experience.
It had been for me.
To teach me how to protect myself.
To give me a fighting chance in this life.
That was how Ryder showed emotion. Just like when he tried to turn me. It served as a practical response to a problem, one he only wanted to fix because of how he felt about me.
“You wanted me to live.”
“Yes, I’ve already said that.” He frowned. “Lycans are supposed to have decent hearing. Perhaps being a hybrid is negatively impacting your senses.”
He worded it too seriously to be a joke, but I couldn’t help my resulting smile. “I heard you.”
“Did you? Because I had to repeat the bit about not allowing others to kill you as well.”
Okay, maybe I hadn’t heard that part originally over my initial freak-out. Although, now I understood. He just didn’t care about the rules. He never had. I should have realized that before losing my head, but it was all a lot to take in.
I’m a hybrid.
Immortal.
Half vampire, half lycan.
And according to Ryder, he didn’t know of any others in existence.
“Now what?” I asked him. “Do I hide?”
“From?”
“The council.”
He grunted. “No. Fuck them and their rules.”
“But Jace is here… and Edon…” I trailed off. “I don’t… I don’t know how to interpret all this, Ryder. I need to understand what to expect.” Ryder said he could protect me, and I believed him, but I’d also witnessed their reach and control. This world was not kind to those who broke the rules. I’d observed countless incidents over the years to know what they would do to me if they caught me.
“What you can expect is that I will not hide you, nor will I put up with anyone telling me who I can and cannot turn. Just like I’ve ignored Lilith’s demands regarding my leadership. She feels it’s her right to dictate to me. I feel otherwise.” He cupped my cheek, his lower body settling more firmly over mine. “You’re mine, Willow. The others can fuck off.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“But it is,” he countered, leaning down to press his lips to mine. “What’s done is done. I won’t be changing it, and I certainly won’t allow them to kill my progeny.”
“Progeny,” I repeated, tasting the word.
“That’s what you are now, Willow,” he murmured. “Nearly five thousand years of life and I’ve only made two—Damien and now you. Do you really think I’m going to allow a council full of pompous pricks to dictate my decisions?”
“No.”
“Good,” he murmured. “We’re getting somewhere.”
He said something similar to that the night he asked how I felt about him. I told him I didn’t know at the time. I lifted my hand to his face, my gaze dropping to his mouth as I considered the question again.
And how do you feel about me?
“Ryder?” I whispered. “I think I know how I feel about you now.” But I didn’t want to explain it with words. Ryder preferred and understood actions. So rather than elaborate, I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled his head down to mine.
I craved him like I’d never craved anyone else in my existence.
I wanted to experience him.
Devour him.
Claim him.
The latter was a foreign concept, one driven to the forefront of my thoughts by a new desire inside me. My wolf, I realized with an inhale doused in Ryder’s minty essence.
Mmm, more, my wolf demanded, her presence loud in my mind. She was half of me now, motivated purely by animalistic need. While my vampire side reminded me of Ryder, pragmatic and focused.