faces is all you know. After my father died, Luke and Tristan got strangled with all the work the hotel needed. Not me. And I’m telling you, they were very hard on me for it. You have brothers, I expect you of all people to understand how brothers are.” He took a breath. “Yes, they love me. Yes, they want the best for me. But I was broke when my father died, okay? And like a jerk, I kept all my money in our joint hotel account and never took my share to set up my own accounts. That’s why Luke was able to cut me off. Why can’t I go home? Because they’re gonna lay into me. I’m not saying they’re wrong. I’m not saying I don’t deserve it. But coming off this massive failure and humiliation, if I don’t have that part, I may not survive.”
“They won’t understand what ye been through?”
“No. They don’t understand this part of me.”
“How is that possible? I’ve known ye for three days and I understand it.”
Because she loved him. Sure, Luke and Tristan loved him, but it wasn’t the same, was it? A woman’s love was wrapped in understanding. And the right woman would fiercely defend her man. Maybe even when he didn’t deserve it.
That was love.
“I don’t know what else to say. I’m shattering.”
She felt slapped. “I didn’t make ye feel a little better?”
He stared at her, his eyes softening. “Oh, mama. You’ve been the best part of this. My days were just shit sandwiches with a side of piss back in L.A. I hated everything about that life. That fucked up Marina Del Ray purgatory. That bowel I had to crawl to because I got asked to leave the Hollywood apartment.” He turned away and his voice got gravelly with anger. “They fucking showered me with glamour and praise and when I didn’t give them what they wanted they decimated me and kicked me to the curb while the car was still running.”
Her heart broke for him. She couldn’t take it. Nodding, she looked for her clothes, but they were back in the living room. Waving her hands and wandering into the bathroom to put on a robe, she said, “Ye know what, go. Go to Chicago.”
“Alone, you mean?”
“It’s what ye want.”
“I guess that’s best.” The words came out strangled.
Tying the robe, she said, “That right there is gobshite. What’s best is what makes ye smile and happy. Ye said it yerself. Life is short.”
“You’ll get your money. It’s going in your account.” He reached into her bag and pulled out her notebook. “All your plans and your dreams are gonna happen.” He held it in his hands.
She kept quiet watching him. Her heart jolted when he opened the book. A smile formed on his mouth as he flipped through the pages. “This looks great, Sabine.”
Back to Sabine.
“Can’t you...” He held the notebook up to his mouth, the red marbled cover matching the enflamed color of his skin.
“Can’t I, what?”
“Can’t you do this in New York?” His voice squeaked.
She stared at him. “Where is this television show being filmed?”
“Not L.A.” He placed the book gently back in the bag. “Did you think I was coming back to California if I got the part?”
She chose not to answer. It would give away the hope she’d been feeding herself these past few days.
“Doesn’t matter. The schedule is grueling. I won’t be able to give you anything. All of this... All of me these past few days, yeah, this is who I am when...”
“When?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Forget what I said. I want you to come to Chicago and stay with me. I’m not... I’m not ready to let you go. And if anyone is going to watch me fall apart, I’d like it to be you.”
Grayson
THIS SEVEN-HOUR LONG empty rear-view drive...
No shit, Gray thought to himself listening to one of his favorite Ryan Hurd songs. Maybe that’s why he loved country music. They all told little stories.
There he was living one of them.
On the road again...
Chicago was called the White City, but he didn’t know why. It was gray like most other big cities.
Sabine stayed quiet. Making polite conversation and using food breaks to not talk to him at all. He hadn’t prepared himself to not get that part. And not getting it wasn’t just another rejection. That he could handle. But coming off the devastating blow from the movie, it truly meant the end of his career.