I had to think. Was he tricking me somehow? Derek said you could never really win with Fahl, but there was so much on the line, what choice did I have?
I knew I would have to make a decision very soon, so I stalled as long as I could. “What about Leah?” Though I did want to know what was to become of her, unfortunately, she wasn’t foremost in my mind and heart.
“She’ll decide her own fate now.”
“But Grey said she’d go to hell for being a murderer.”
“That’s one possibility. But, again, it’s up to Leah.”
My mistake was in believing that either of them, Grey or Fahl, was capable of being completely truthful. Like any business dealing, there was always fine print, some hidden clause or consequence that you weren’t expecting. I knew it would serve me well to keep that in mind. I never thought I’d look at Faust as a relevant cautionary tale in my life, but...like Derek said every hell has its devil.
“What are her choices?” It always boiled down to choices, but just like Dad had reminded me in his letter, there was always another option.
“Well, if she controls herself and manages her thirst, she could make different decisions in life and end up going to heaven. Or…”
“Or what?”
“She can control herself and remain undecided.”
“Undecided?”
Fahl pursed his lips as if he was searching for the right way to explain. “Think of it this way, no space is ever empty. It is always occupied by something. Now think of a person’s heart like a space. If Leah kills then her heart darkens to…let’s call it gray. That’s the area where I like to play, where black and white meet in the shadows. Now,” he paused, obviously enjoying his lesson. “People have been known to come back around to the light after killing, but it’s not a journey for the faint of heart. But it could happen.
“On the other hand, if she continues to kill, her heart will continue to darken and it will eventually be occupied by the ruler of the natural world and hell will be her resting place. And, of course,” he said, his tone dropping as if he were glossing over the last. “If she believes in the one who died for her, then her heart will be occupied by the light. But,” he said, his animation returning. “If she remains undecided…”
“Then?”
“Then she’s fair game and Grey will have another chance to reap her. For me.”
“When will- how will I- how will all this happen?”
“You’ll know,” he said, his malevolent tone freezing me from the inside.
I thought about his words for a long time before something occurred to me. I felt selfish for even considering it, much less asking, but I had to know.
“And what about me? What will become of me?”
Fahl’s smile was pure delighted evil. “Well, that depends on what your choice is, Carson.”
In a way, I was glad he didn’t answer me too directly, with too many specifics. I didn’t want anything to falsely influence my decision. I had to have a singular focus and I couldn’t do that if I was thinking of myself at all.
“Alright,” I said gravely, instantly feeling the heavy mantle of doom as it settled on my shoulders.
“Is that a yes?” Fahl was all but salivating over my agreement.
“Yes, that’s a yes.”
As soon as the words left my tongue, Fahl’s thin lips twisted into a smile of great pleasure, so much pleasure that it made me wonder what I’d really just agreed to. But I quickly reminded myself that no price was too high for my father and Derek.
“I’ll be in touch,” he said mysteriously and then he was gone and I was alone in the woods.
I stood in the clearing for a long time. The tempest of emotion that thrashed about inside me finally died down into a strangely welcomed numbness. I felt…nothing. Maybe it was the peace that comes when the end is near. Maybe it was that I’d faced a difficult decision, made a choice and now I knew my path. Or maybe there was just too much to feel, therefore I felt nothing. Whatever the cause, I was thankful for the reprieve.
Quietly, I moved out of the clearing and picked my way through the forest toward my car. Once I looked up and thought I saw Derek watching me from the deepest shadow of a tree, but when I blinked he was gone. I couldn’t even be sure he’d