you here, dumb ass? And please please please can we mix business and pleasure? Just this once!
He changed the subject, telling me about his time modeling, his TV career, his extensive travels, and his patch of land in Colorado overlooking a lake, where he was building a cabin to get away from it all.
“So, I have a question,” he said, leaning forward and placing a hand on my thigh.
Not a great hand, but a good one. Maybe small, but can’t let such a minor detail ruin the moment.
“You’re not one of those girls who just wants to shack up and get married, are you?” he said in a complete deadpan. He was serious.
“What?” I tried not to look offended. What the hell kind of question is that? “No! I’m complete on my own, thank you. I don’t need a man to make me happy.”
“Really,” he said, definitely cocky. “Because you know, it seems every girl I meet over the age of 25 is hell-bent on landing a man and getting on the baby train.”
“Well, I’m different.”
Okay, not entirely different. If I had my way, I’d be on a mountaintop exchanging vows with an explorer named Craig. Not the asshole Craig, but the imaginary Adonis Craig—the one I’d invented in my head about three minutes after he spoke his first words to me. And since he’s imaginary, I’ll just have to find someone else, whom I’d prefer to find sooner rather than later. So what’s wrong with that? So I want a man I can love! And up until two minutes ago, Alex was in the running! Shit! Women really do size up men for marriage within the first five minutes.
“Lydia said you were cool. Now, tell me about this explorer guy you’re with, your boyfriend.”
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Okay, it makes sense now. He’s playing it cool because Lyds told him about Craig. Ha! Craig? Craig Who?
“No, we broke up,” I said casually. “It was awhile ago.”
Tension gone. Mood relaxed. The thought that Alex was anything less than perfect slipped away into a mass of lusty thoughts. As we talked, he leaned in closer and closer until I could feel his breath on my face. Our cheeks touched lightly and his hands slowly and subtly made their way onto my hips. Before I knew it, he had my hair pinned over my head and his other hand scrambling up my t-shirt. It was happening so fast.
Jesus, what if they’ve planted a camera in MY room?
Nothing about this night seemed real. A hot—no, a gorgeous man—wanting me, needing me, fondling me, and this after possibly seeing me slurp down a can of salt-soaked fish eggs.
Pinch me. Was I working on a reality show or starring in one?
He thrust his naked torso against her pelvis and began a dry-hump. As they throbbed and heaved in unison, her head knocked against a priceless oil painting.
“Dags, you’re so fucking hot,” he grunted forcefully. “I love you. I love you.”
“Just do me!” Dagmar moaned.
“Marry me. I want you to marry me. Please,” Dominic panted as he continued to bang her against the wall.
“Yes! I’ll do it. I’ll marry you! Yes! Yes!” she screamed, biting at his navel.
My face turned white. Was I seriously watching two filthy rich heirs have sex? I turned to my compadré in the control room, blinking stupidly. He was operating Spycam while I directed.
“Is this really happening?” I rubbed my forehead in pain.
“Yup,” he moaned, tossing a Cheezie down his throat.
“Please, tell me we were on a close-up of their faces when he proposed. I think that was our money shot and they were screwing.”
It had been three and a half weeks since arriving at the castle. The execs were biting their fingernails to the bone, nervous that our stars had yet to propose, break up, or do anything to build a show around. To add to the stress, we had less than ten days to get/make/create an ending. Now, we finally had our money moment, a proposal, and it was Triple X-rated hard-core sex—hardly fodder for primetime TV.
“Got a close-up, got a wide, got it any way you want it, Babes. We have four cameras in that room. Remember?” he said, chiding me in his crusty tech-guy way. “And don’t worry, they weren’t actually screwing in that shot. But they are now.” He pointed to the monitor.
“No!” I moaned, covering my eyes. “They know we’re watching. Perverts!”
“You said it.” My colleague had obviously seen this kind of crap before. He was totally