The Reality of Everything - Rebecca Yarros Page 0,29

were engaged for about four months, though.” He tucked his thumbs into his pockets and looked ahead to where Finley was digging in the sand. “That’s a long story, too.”

I walked silently next to him, deciding if he wanted to share, that was fine, and if he didn’t, that was okay, too. I didn’t move here to poke at someone else’s wounds.

“We met in college,” he said with a soft smile.

“In Maine?”

“No. She was on a full ride to Boston University for drama and theater, and I was at MIT as a legacy who started majoring in Frat Parties 101 but graduated with a degree in oceanography.”

I blinked a few times.

“What? Didn’t peg me for an MIT guy?” His smile nearly tied my tongue in knots.

“I don’t know you well enough to make assumptions. Even though I may have considering you look…” I gestured up and down his torso.

“Look like what?” he teased.

“Like you want to finish your story.” I flashed a sugar-sweet smile at him.

“Uh-huh.” His tone dripped with sarcasm.

Something stirred inside my chest, as if part of me had been asleep for too long and was blinking awake, shielding her eyes from the sun. Except Jackson was the sun. For the first time since…ever, I felt a sense of connection to a man who wasn’t Will. I jerked my eyes from his and focused on Finley walking ahead of us.

“We hit it off junior year,” he continued, either not seeing or ignoring my mini freak-out. “And then after graduation…” He looked away as his voice softened, and I knew he wasn’t with me—he was with her. “I joined the coast guard, and Fin was born the next September. I proposed to Claire while she was in labor, and she laughed and called me an idiot.” He smiled, shaking his head.

“But she said yes,” I assumed. I hadn’t taken him for a coast guard guy, but I guess it made sense. The coast guard probably employed tons of oceanographers. It didn’t stop the tiny piece of panic from rising in my throat, though. The coast guard was still the military, but he was a scientist, not one of the front-line guys.

“She said yes,” he confirmed. “It was the happiest day of my life.”

“I found another one!” Finley shouted, waving a shell above her head.

“Good job, honey!” Jackson answered.

Without coming to show us her treasure, Finley continued her hunt.

“She’s a big bottle of joy, isn’t she?” I asked, watching her fight with her hair.

“She’s Claire. A little bit of my recklessness, sure, but that crazy optimism? All her mother.” His voice trailed off, but then he took a deep breath. “She left us when Fin was about four months old. Got an offer for a pilot in L.A. and said she’d come back as soon as they finished filming.”

“But she didn’t?” I guessed. That look in his eyes…he was still in love with her. It was the same look Will got when he’d talk about Peyton—all wistful but resigned.

He shook his head. “Claire’s always been easily distracted by shiny things, and there are a lot of stars to shine out there. But who knows? Maybe one day…” He shrugged.

My heart sank. Even if she hadn’t really loved Jackson, how could any mother walk away from her child and never come back? “And you became a single father with a baby.”

He nodded, watching Fin with the rapt look of an adoring parent. It was the same way Paisley looked at her son, the way my mama looked at me. “My parents were already gone, and Vivian loves Fin desperately, so I moved here—to the only family we had left.”

“You’re one of the really good ones, aren’t you?” I asked before I could stop myself.

His slight laugh was anything but funny. “No. That’s the kicker. I’m not. Anything I am that resembles good is because of her.” He nodded toward Finley. “I’ve always been an asshole. Selfish, careless, impetuous, you name it. But for her, I’ll be anything she needs. I’ll rip the world apart to keep her safe, and I’ll make damn sure I don’t give her anything to be embarrassed about when it comes to me.”

“And you do it without any help. I can’t even imagine.” I could barely take care of myself, let alone another person.

“I have Sarah—our nanny—and Vivian. She keeps Fin one weekend a month, and she used to take care of Fin while I was at work. I wouldn’t have made it through her baby years