The Reality of Everything - Rebecca Yarros Page 0,111
long to come around because he didn’t want to be with you,” she continued. “It was because he thought you deserved someone who had a whole heart to give. He was trying to protect you. He wanted to be certain that he could love you the way you loved him, and when he left that night, he was hopeful about a future with you.” She smiled, but it was shaky. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you that sooner.”
I tried to straighten my puckered, crumpled face and failed. “Thank you for telling me now.” It was so similar to what he’d said that night. To what he’d said in the video.
“I’m sorry I’m here and he’s not,” Jagger admitted in a near-whisper.
“God, no. Jagger, no.” I shook my head violently.
“Hey, you got to unload yesterday, and now it’s our turn.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “I think about him every day. I think about him in the moments I’m happiest, because he’ll never get the chances I’ve had. He’ll never get to see you wear white or watch you carry his child. I might not say it, but trust me, I think it. We all knew you two were inevitable. We just didn’t know what was coming for us. I’m so fucking sorry for your loss, Morgan, and for the time it took us all to finally say it.”
The warmth of the mug started to burn, but I didn’t release it. “The truth is that Will had the chance to do all that. He just didn’t take it. Not in time, at least. That’s on him, not on you, Jagger. He wanted you to live because he made a promise to Peyton that he’d always take care of Paisley, and that’s what he did. He took care of Paisley and your son. Damn if that boy didn’t love a good promise.”
My eyes fell to my cup and then rose to Sam when she tapped her finger on the table in distraction.
“I’m sorry I let you put the necklace in with him.”
My jaw slackened.
“You wear that boy like a shield of armor around your heart, and I can’t help but feel like I let you bury yourself with him that day.” She forced a smile. “Oh, and I’m sorry that I left you our first day here to run for tequila that you couldn’t even drink, but I guess it all turned out okay.” She glanced around Jackson’s house and then smiled.
“Yeah, it did.” I smiled right back at her, marveling that I could discuss Will and still feel that warm glow in my chest for Jackson. “Are you guys…okay with Jackson? Not that I’m going to walk out on him if you don’t like him or anything, of course. But he’s so good to me, and I know it’s foolish to even think of being with someone who flies the same damn helicopter—”
“Stop,” Josh interrupted. “We’re going to love whoever you find worthy enough to love, Morgan. Jagger and I are both flying again, too, and I’m sure Paisley and Ember feel that same fear, but they put up with us anyway. You wouldn’t call that foolish, and I’m not going to let you think you’re foolish, either. We can’t help who we love.” He shrugged. “But if you could help it, he’s a damn good choice from what we’ve seen.”
“Totally.”
“Whatever makes you happy.”
“I wish he flew a real helicopter, but he’s cool enough.”
“I put my stamp of approval on that man the minute he swam up the beach and ran by. The fact that he’s just as nice as he is hot is a bonus.” Sam winked.
My soul…settled. Calmed.
Josh cleared his throat. “I’m sorry that I didn’t do this a hell of a lot sooner.”
“Do what?” Jackson asked, coming to stand behind me with his hand on my shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee. Sorry it took so long. She’s…Claire.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“Pull up a stool,” Josh instructed, motioning toward the bar that separated the kitchen from the dining room.
Jackson fetched the nearest stool and sat beside me, holding my hand in his lap and setting his coffee on the table.
Josh glanced at Ember, and she nodded, offering her own hand across the corner of the table. He took it and sighed so hard that his entire posture changed.
My stomach didn’t just twist—it sank. What was he about to say that had him that flustered?