really." I sat beside her. "Trust me. If I'd only known, I would have laid off the clotted cream and jam on my scones and dropped a few pounds before I let Jerry turn me." I made a face. "Of course back in those days, a well-rounded woman was a sign of prosperity. And, hello, when I met Jer, I hit the mother lode." I winked. "In more ways than one."
"Yeah, he's a hunk all right." Penny leaned against me. "No wonder you let him turn you. And if he was rich . . ."
"Oh, he was. And I was a poor widow. He was an answer to my prayers." I sighed, remembering. "But money wasn't the issue for me. It was love at first sight. The vampire thing scared me at first, but I just couldn't resist him."
"Lucky you." Penny stood and looked down. "But bottom line - and I do mean bottom - is that I'm now stuck with this spare tire and big butt?"
"Afraid so."
"Damn." Penny stared at my size-twelve - okay, more like a fourteen - hips.
"On the bright side, you never have to exercise again." I laughed and got up to rummage in my underwear drawer. "Because a sit-up can't tone you and running can't make you lose a single ounce."
A slow smile spread on Penny's face. She really did have a pretty smile and you could see how she resembled her cheerleading sister when she used it.
"Well, now. You just made this whole thing way more tolerable."
"That's him." Penny gave me an elbow in the ribs when a stocky blond emerged from the frat house and walked to a black SUV in the parking lot. We'd been hiding in a tree near the house for about an hour and it was after midnight. The guys had been drinking and having a fine old time rehashing the Ugly Chick party of the weekend before. It was all I could do not to burst through the door and clean house.
"What's his name?" I jumped down and waited for Penny, who was a little less secure in her skills. She climbed down cautiously.
"Josh Hansen."
"Watch and wait right here. I'll bring him to you." I strolled over to the car with a twitch of my hips. "Hey, good-looking."
Josh turned at the sound of my voice as he fumbled for his keys. The yahoo didn't have any business driving in his condition. Too many beers. I could smell the alcohol from here. Maybe the best revenge would be to let him get on the road, then get a policeman to stop him. No, he might hit an innocent person on his way to getting caught.
"What?" He finally focused on me. "Hi, there." He smiled.
No surprise, he was interested. I'd worn a low-cut top and a short skirt that shouted "slut looking for a good time." Josh was obviously up for that.
I was close in an instant and ran my hand down his chest. "I was hoping I'd find someone to talk to. It's late and I'm, um, lonely." I licked my lips and Josh got the message loud and clear.
"Uh, yeah, I could give you a ride somewhere." He held up his keys and grinned. "We could talk at my place. I have roommates, but they're cool."
"How about my place? It's just up the street." I grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the tree where Penny waited out of sight. "Closer." I rubbed against him suggestively. "No roommates."
"Yeah, yeah." He stumbled after me until we were on the other side of the enormous oak.
"Josh! Remember me?" Penny was suddenly in front of us, fangs down.
"What the - ?" Josh peered at her. "Poppy? What happened to your lips? You go freaky?"
"It's Penny, you dipshit, and I went totally freaky, thanks to you." Penny slammed her fist into his stomach. He leaned over and retched, emptying the contents of his stomach next to his shoes.
"Hah! How'd you like that, you bastard?" She grabbed his hair, then hit his face, drawing blood. "You have no idea what you did to me."
I latched on to her arm before she could hit him again. "Penny, stop. Read his mind." I'd focused on him while Penny had gone on the attack, figuring she should be allowed to get a few licks in for what he'd done to her.
"What do you mean?" Penny kept staring at the blood at the corner of Josh's mouth. "Who cares what he's thinking? Do you smell that?" She