to do. That’s your only responsibility—do your best to make my experience the best it can be. I don’t expect fireworks and a parade and a twenty-one gun salute. I know there may be some discomfort. I also know once that initial moment is over, it’ll be amazing. Or, that it can be. And I know with you, it would be. I don’t need you to assume you’re taking anything from me.” She held my gaze, long and hard and direct. “If we were in a room, in a bed, and I told you I want to have sex with you, that wouldn’t be you taking anything. It’d be me giving it to you. So keep that in mind. And, by the way, if we were to do anything else in between, I hope you understand that I trust you to control yourself. To take what I’m offering and no more. I trust you, Rhys. I know you’re a good man. I know that no matter what you say right now, all worked up and horny and emotional about it, mixed up maybe, upset, confused—when push came to shove and we were messing around and you wanted to fuck me and I said no, I know, without a doubt, that you’d stop in a heartbeat. Because that’s the kind of man you are. And that’s why I’m even in this car with you. Why I’m so strongly considering giving you my virginity no matter what the future may or may not hold for us.”
She paused and sucked in a shaky breath.
I was just about to reply when I realized she had something else to say, so I held my tongue.
“I don’t know that we have a future together. If you even want that, if I want that. How we’d get there, considering the logistical issues standing in the way. And, yes, I have feelings for you that make me wonder if we could have a future together, and a damned good one. And that scares me. A lot. Because if I gave you my virginity, I know those feelings would multiply by like, infinity. Make it so much harder to say goodbye when that time comes. But I also think that maybe…maybe it’d be worth it anyway.”
“Torie—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t. Just think about it. Take some time and think on all that.”
Even though she was naked, I did exactly that—I thought about all that she’d said.
At some indeterminate amount of time later, she pulled her sleep shorts and a tank top out of her bag, slipped into them, not bothering with anything else.
I yawned, hard enough that I swerved, and Torie frowned at me. “My turn. I’m wide awake, now.”
“Should we stop?”
She shook her head. “Why? I got twelve hours of sleep. Don’t even need coffee, although I may stop at the next good exit and get some. We’ve got to be getting close to almost being there.”
“Our major destination is Prince Rupert. That’s where we take the car ferry to Ketchikan itself.”
She eyed me. “We.”
I nodded. “I’ve decided I’m just gonna see you all the way to your family. I’m most of the way there, so I might as well see Alaska while I’m at it.”
In an instant her face lit up. Her eyes sparkled and she smiled, and I knew I’d just made the best decision of my life.
I pulled off onto the next exit that had a gas station, and I practically ran to the men’s room and emptied my own bladder, which had been turning my eyes yellow at that point. I filled up the gas tank and then we switched places. Torie took us through a 24-hour Tim Hortons, where we got real food and a big box of Timbits. We hit the highway and headed for the northern coast of British Columbia. After eating, I realized I really was tired; the hours of driving had taken their toll. I leaned my seat back, left the lap belt buckled, tucked a spare T-shirt between my face and the door, and fell asleep.
Torie
I’d thought that once we got that hard conversation out of the way, things would loosen up. But they didn’t, not really. When both of us were awake, unspoken feelings simmered between us in the car. Chemistry and sexual tension churned in the silence.
Hours and miles passed. We traded again somewhere in the mountains of British Columbia. Drove through the day, into the next evening, living on coffee and naps and fast