in, a handful of thongs wadded up into a ball at the bottom, some feminine hygiene products, hairbrush, my phone charger, half my cash rolled up into a rubber band, a pair of sandals, a bath towel, a few pair of socks, some protein bars, a box of mixed nuts in individual snack packs, and my dad’s old Leatherman; I didn’t own any kind of formal wear, so I’d just borrow something from one of my sisters or Mom when I got there. I would wear my heavy boots and a thick hoodie, and the rest of my cash would be in my pocket, along with my license. I had exactly three hundred and twenty-nine dollars to my name and a brand-new passport; I didn’t know you had to have a passport to go to Canada until Mom told me. Luckily, I was able to get a quick turnaround on it. I’d never been anywhere in my life, and having this passport made me realize what a big world we all live in.
I’d done a Google search on Jillie’s laptop, and a one-way Greyhound ticket from here in New Haven, Connecticut to Columbus, Ohio leaving Friday—tomorrow—would be two hundred and some dollars. It’d be cheaper if I booked farther out, but I wanted to leave tomorrow. That would get me almost halfway across the continent. Maybe in Columbus I could find some work for cash under the table so I could scrounge another ticket.
For a brief time, I actually thought I could work my way to Alaska…in less than two weeks.
That may have been one of my more stupid ideas.
But I was determined to do this on my own. To prove to myself, and to my sisters and my Mom, that I could do things on my own, and that I wasn’t a complete airhead.
Growing up, I’d been the invisible one. Tagging along with Cassie and her dance friends, or worse, with Poppy and weird band of art class dorks. Or sitting at home, alone, while Lexie and Cassie and Mom were at their various lessons, and Charlie was doing cool, successful oldest golden child stuff, and Poppy was in the studio painting. Yes—we had a studio for her. When it was clear Poppy had real talent and a passion for painting, Dad had built her a “studio” in the backyard. Little more than a garden shed with windows, it was her pride and joy, her favorite place.
Everyone was always away at school, or at lessons, or with friends, or busy at home with their hobbies and their passions.
I had none of that, and no special friends. I was always just…there, at home.
Then, one by one, everyone left home. Charlie for college and life on her own, Cassie for Julliard, Lexie for U-Conn, Poppy for Columbia University, and then finally even Mom left for Alaska. Leaving me alone in New Haven to fend for myself.
I wasn’t bitter about it, really I wasn’t.
I finally looked over at my roommates. My best friends. “Guys, look. I…I can’t ask them for help and I won’t. I know this is a little nuts. I do. It’s not like I’m some naive little girl hoping to find Prince Charming on a magical road trip adventure. I’m not that girl. I have major creep radar, and I don’t trust anyone. I’m not getting in a car with anyone I don’t have a good feeling about. I’ll be okay. I just…I have to do this on my own. I know you don’t really understand, but I hope you can respect my decision.”
Jillie slid down to sit on the floor across from me. “Of course we understand, Torie. I don’t talk to my family, and Leighton doesn’t have one for all intents and purposes, so we get being independent. But there’s a difference between independence and foolishness. We’re your best friends, Tor. We love you. We just want you to be safe.”
“I will be.”
Leighton joined us on the floor. “You just have to call us every day, okay? Promise. You call one or the other of us every single day, no matter what. If you miss a single check-in, we’re calling the police.”
“Since I’m going across state lines, I think you’d have to call the FBI, and I don’t think they start looking until someone is missing for, like, forty-eight or seventy-two hours.” I zipped up my backpack. “But, yeah, I promise I’ll check in every day.”