Ravenous - Helen Hardt Page 0,33

joyful, a welcome respite when Joe and Talon had been brooding.

We were all a little evil in our own way.

But my father… I’d worshiped him. I’d mourned him when he “died” after I turned eighteen. I missed him still, even though I now knew he wasn’t perfect. I’d been his baby girl. In fact, that was what he’d called me.

Baby girl.

He hadn’t spoiled me. He’d tried a few times, but I hadn’t let him. I’d learned the ranching business and had worked as hard around here as my brothers. I could run this business. I just had no interest in doing so. Silent partnership was great for me.

He’d taught all of us the value of a dollar and of a hard day’s work. None of us took our money for granted. Oh, we treated ourselves for sure, but we were always grateful for our fortune.

Because of the Steel money, I could study cooking in Paris and not worry about funding.

Yes. I should do that.

But not until Jade had the baby. I couldn’t leave my best friend, especially not since her pregnancy had been so difficult. Luckily, her spotting had stopped. Still, we all were walking on pins and needles, even though we tried not to mention it.

I scoffed to myself. Once the baby was born, would I be able to leave then? My best friend’s baby. Plus, I’d already have a new nephew as well—Joe and Mel’s son, who was due soon.

Plus Dale and Donny, who I’d grown very attached to and loved dearly.

And Bryce…

Would I ever leave?

Would I ever realize my dream to study in Paris? To become a world-class chef?

An epiphany struck me like a lightning bolt.

I had to go.

I had to go now.

There would always be something to keep me here at the ranch. Here in Colorado.

Jade’s baby. Joe’s baby. The boys. My brothers.

And Bryce Simpson.

He didn’t want me. I had to accept that.

Perhaps getting away was the answer.

Yeah, things were still going on with Colin Morse and his father. Yeah, we were all still struggling with the past.

But the past was the past. I had an obligation to myself to look to the future.

I had to go.

First, though, I’d talk to Jade. After I explained my reasoning, if she wanted me to stay until she gave birth, I’d stay. She was my best friend, and I owed her that much.

But if not?

I was out of here.

A smidge of guilt gnawed at me at the prospect of leaving my family. They needed me. But hired help could easily do what I’d been doing since Felicia had left.

My life wasn’t on the ranch. I’d known that for a long time.

My life was in a big city somewhere, where I’d feed hungry people at a five-star restaurant. That was my dream.

It was time.

Time to do what was right for me.

“I understand,” Jade said after I’d shared my revelation with her. “You have to go. I hate it, but you have to.”

“It’s killing me to think about missing your baby’s birth.”

“It’s killing me too,” she said. “But I get it. I really do get it.”

Jade was the only person—other than Mel—who knew about Bryce and me. Who knew I was in love.

“One thing, though,” Jade said. “You need to be doing this for the right reason.”

“I am. It’s what I want.”

“I know it’s what you want in the long-term,” she said. “But think about it. If you’re doing this to get away from Bryce, that’s the wrong reason.”

“I’m not.”

“Marj…”

“Okay. Maybe. But it’s not the only reason I want to go.”

“Maybe it’s time to make a list of pros and cons,” she said. “They can be helpful.”

“You sound like Melanie.”

“Melanie’s a very smart woman.”

No disagreement there. A tinge of sharpness hit my upper thigh where my cut was healing. Jade, who knew me better than anyone, didn’t know about that.

“Okay, fine. We’ll make a pro and con list.” I grabbed my phone and pulled up the notepad. “Pro. I get to do what I love in a place I love.”

“You can even make that two pros.” Jade smiled.

“Con. I miss your baby’s birth.”

“And Joe’s baby.”

“Okay. Two cons.”

“Pro side. I get some distance from Bryce.”

“I’m not going to give you two pros for that one.”

“Fair enough,” I said, though I thought it deserved about ten pros.

“What else?” Jade asked.

“The boys. I’ve grown to love them. I’ll miss them a lot.”

“Con,” Jade said.

“Yeah. Two cons. One for each.”

“Anything else?”

“My mother. She doesn’t know who I am, but I feel I should be here