The Raven and the Dove (The Raven and the Dove #1) - Kaitlyn Davis Page 0,97

in her expression was still there, steady and strong as she shook her head with a half smile. “No, no, you really care for them, about them. I can tell from your voice, from the way you talk about your home. I loved my house and the doves, but I’m almost ashamed to admit, I loved myself more. But you don’t. You love them first, and yourself second.”

“Isn’t that what a future king is supposed to do?” he asked offhandedly, overwhelmed by eyes that seemed to probe into his soul.

“Probably, though my guess is they rarely do,” she murmured.

Xander slid his gaze back to the window, searching for a distraction or a shift in the conversation—anything to take the attention off him and how easily she saw through him, especially when she remained a mystery.

“Oh, look,” he exclaimed a little too loudly as he found a familiar figure down below—the owner of a set of speckled wings that could never belong to a raven. “I think that must be your friend Cassi in the practice yards, and that’s probably Rafe with her.”

The princess tensed beside him.

Xander turned from the window, observing how she watched her friend and his brother with a slight curl of lips. He suddenly remembered her words on the last night at the House of Peace, when they were standing at the edge of the isle, having their first few moments of honesty. She’d called Rafe rude and a grouch as a sneer passed across her features.

“You don’t like him very much, do you?” Xander asked softly. “My brother, I mean.”

The princess inhaled sharply as she spun toward him, eyes wide as though caught in some illicit act. Her wings dropped, and a small puff of air slipped through her lips. “Am I so obvious?”

A soft laugh escaped his lips. “A little.”

“I’m sorry—" Lyana paused, folding her lips.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

He was grinning now. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just, well…” Her face scrunched tightly for a moment. “He never apologized,” she rushed to say, as though the confession were a flood she couldn’t control now that it had started. “He never apologized for tricking me in the trials, for pretending to be you. He acted smug when we returned to your guest quarters, and arrogant, and not the least bit sorry for fooling me, and I’m not sure I could ever actually like someone who acts like that.”

Xander’s throat constricted as he shifted his weight, mirth vanishing in an instant, because the princess could just as easily have been talking about him and his actions. Rafe hadn’t been the only one involved in that trickery.

As though she could read his thoughts, Lyana continued, voice smoother this time, no longer filled with ire, “I don’t understand how two people who look so similar could be so completely different. You are so kind, Xander, so honest, and I knew at a glance how horrible you felt about the trials. I could read the shame across your face as soon as you confessed the truth. But him? He just— He just— He—”

Lyana broke off, and her feathers bristled, leaving her words at that.

“He’s complicated.”

Xander sighed, turning from the window to lean against the shelf, feeling grounded and supported by the spines of his books as he faced the princess. He wasn’t surprised at her words. Lyana had grown up with a mother and father who perhaps loved one another. Her brother was her equal in the eyes of her people, a sibling they all cherished just as much as they did her. His childhood, Rafe’s childhood—they were as foreign to her as his home. But he didn’t want them to be. Lyana would never fully understand him until she understood his brother. His mate and his brother were the two most important people in his life. He wasn’t sure what he would do if they couldn’t find a way to get along.

“Rafe is good at putting on a front, at pushing people away," Xander continued. "He always has been. Because, well, it’s a lot to explain.”

Lyana remained silent, watching him, giving him the opening.

Feeling exposed, he worked through the discomfort. Lyana was his mate. His mate. She deserved to know even the darkest parts of his past. “My mother was the first princess in five generations to bring home a mate from the courtship trials. Before that, our house had been shunned, the last pick in a string of unlucky trials that left our princes and princesses outnumbered and unmatched. But when she returned with