Rate a Date by Monica Murphy Page 0,2
they break up, she tells us all about the awful things he did or said to her, and then they end up back together.
None of us like him. We don’t even like to say his name out loud. Like we might invoke evil spirits or something.
“It’s just me and you, babe,” Kelsey says, her voice softening. Encouraging even. “I’m sorry I created that profile for you without your consent, but you gotta admit, I’ve got you figured out.”
I say nothing. But I’m not as irritated as I was feeling a few minutes ago.
“How about this—you can edit my profile. Then we’re even.” Kelsey smiles. “And then we’ll be in this together, we’ll go on a couple of dates, report back to each other, and when the month is up, we’re done. Well, you’re done. I might continue. What do you say?”
Of course, I’m skeptical. I shouldn’t agree to this. It sounds like a bunch of trouble. What if we meet psychos? Stalkers who won’t leave us alone and we’ll have to call the cops and file a restraining order…
“It could be unsafe,” I say.
“If you won’t do it with me, I’m still going to do it, regardless.” Kelsey shrugs.
Ooh, she knows I worry about everyone and everything. I can’t stand the thought of her doing this all on her own. I need to be there, be her partner in dating, and make sure nothing terrible happens to her.
“I don’t like that,” I tell her.
“Too bad. I’m still going to do it. I might meet a serial killer, but I watch enough true crime shows so I’ll be able to tell if something’s wrong with them pretty quickly.” Another casual shrug from my friend. “Besides, there are cameras everywhere. If I end up dead, they’ll figure it out quick.”
She knows exactly what she’s doing to me.
“Oh my God, fine,” I reluctantly say, and Kelsey squeals so loudly I rest my hands over my ears, only dropping them when I know she’s gone quiet. “I’ll keep my profile on the app and I’ll even talk to guys for thirty days, but as soon as my month is up, I’m out.”
“You’ll have to go on at least one date,” Kelsey points out. “Maybe two. Three if you want a good assessment of your dating pool.”
“Don’t try to make this sound like a science experiment. That won’t work on me.” I always sucked at science.
Kelsey waves a hand. “You know what I mean.”
“I also want to rewrite your profile description,” I tell her, making a gimme motion with my hand. “Let me see your phone.”
“You promise you won’t delete your profile?” She raises her brows.
Sighing, I roll my eyes. “Promise.”
She taps at her phone and then hands it over. Her profile photo is almost a full-body shot of her in a provocative pose, and she’s wearing a really cute red sundress—that shows cleavage.
“You’re just going to get a bunch of dick pics with this profile pic.”
“Maybe that’s what I’m looking for.” She keeps a straight face for about a second before we both start laughing.
“First things first, you need to get rid of that photo.” I hit delete and then aim the phone at her. “Smile.”
Before she can say anything, I snap a photo of her, then look at it.
“I bet I look terrible,” she complains.
“Not too bad at all.” I hand the phone back over and she contemplates it.
“I don’t mind this.” She returns her phone to me. “I took the photo of you at Caroline’s shower earlier.”
“I figured, since I’m wearing the same outfit.”
“I had to capture the moment, Eleanor. You were laughing and having such a good time,” Kelsey says, her voice soft.
“Gee, thanks.” I was having fun at the shower. But it also made me a little sad. We’re all changing so much. By the end of the year both Caroline and Candice will be married. Sarah is mostly likely the next to go, and I have a feeling Stella and her new boyfriend—who also happens to be Caroline’s big brother—will move in together as soon as her new house is remodeled.
All happily coupled while I’m unhappily…
Single.
Maybe this dating app is just what I need to find the man of my dreams.
Two
Mitch
“I’m so over this.”
We’re at a nightclub in San Francisco, me and my friends. It’s a Saturday night, the place is packed, the booze is flowing and the music is so damn loud, it makes my body throb.
And not in a good way.
“What did you say?” My friend and