The Ranger of Marzanna (The Goddess War #1) - Jon Skovron Page 0,141
“Surely if you explain this terrible predicament to Commander Vittorio, he will understand that you have no choice. You have so many other wonderful qualities that I’m certain he could find other ways for you to contribute.”
“But, Galina, they’re all counting on me! This is something only I can do! It would take an entire battalion to equal the power I possess. How could I ask all those men to risk their lives merely so that I might find some happiness?”
Her excited expression froze, which made it abruptly look more like a wince of pain. “Merely? Is happiness such a trivial thing to you?”
“It’s not trivial, but surely you would agree that happiness is hardly the most important thing. I have sworn an oath. My men are counting on me. I must do my duty as an officer of the imperial army.”
“I… see.” She looked stricken, and turned away from him.
“I’m sorry, my Galechka. I… understand if you want to break off the engagement.”
Her head snapped back toward him and a surprising anger glistened in her eyes. “If I urge you to stop using magic, it is not for my sake, but for yours. It is because I don’t want you to throw your life away at the behest of some—” She broke off and took a deep breath, though it did little to ease the dark fury in her expression. “Do you think so little of me that you believe something as trivial as physical appearance would inspire me to break off our engagement? It was not your power, or your looks, or your virility that captured my heart, Sebastian. It was your thoughtfulness and tender sensibilities. Those are the qualities I value.”
He stared at her, stunned into silence by her sudden wrath. He had never known her to speak so stridently.
She continued, her voice constricted to a hoarse whisper. “It would only be the loss of those cherished qualities that would induce me to break off our engagement.”
Without another word, she left the parlor.
Sebastian’s stomach twisted with shame. He dropped onto the sofa and stared down at the rug beneath his feet, his eyes absently tracing its intricate weave. Galina was right, of course. He had been speaking as if she was some vapid and frivolous courtesan who cared only about appearances, rather than the poetic, brilliant woman with whom he had fallen in love. His intentions had been sincere, but he had succeeded only in mortally insulting the most important person in his life. It felt as though the entire world fell away with that realization. Was it all broken? Had he alienated the one person who truly understood him? In that moment, he felt alone in a way that he had never known before.
“C-Captain Portinari?”
Sebastian blinked the tears from his eyes. He did not know how long he had been sitting there in the parlor wallowing in despair, but when he saw it was the servant Masha, he still felt too miserable to be embarrassed.
“Yes, what is it, Masha?”
“I… thought the young miss was here with you…”
“No, she left.”
“Well, um, this is rather strange, but a message just arrived for you.”
“For me? Who is it from?”
“The messenger wouldn’t say and departed as soon as he handed it to me. It is addressed to you, and sealed, so I have no way of knowing.”
“Was it a soldier who delivered it?” asked Sebastian.
“No, Captain.”
“Let me see.”
Masha meekly handed him the letter. She looked uneasy but he didn’t blame her. He probably looked to be in a frightful state. Hell, he was in a frightful state.
When Sebastian turned the letter over in his hand, he didn’t even have to open it to know who it was from. On the outside of the folded, sealed note, in a familiar slanted script, was written:
To Sebastian, Captain of the Imperials!
“Masha, you may go,” he said quietly.
“Yes, Captain.” She hurried out of the room.
His guilt and sorrow were suddenly drowned out by a combination of anger and unease. What arrogance—or perhaps even madness—could have induced his sister to contact him like this? Surely she must know that she was wanted for murder, and that as a sworn officer of the empire, he must report her.
He broke the wax seal and unfolded the parchment.
Hey, little brother. I hear you’re getting married. Congratulations, I guess. Listen, before things get any more out of hand, I know Mom would want us to at least try to talk things out like the mature adults we’ve supposedly become.