“She’s hot,” Anna says, grabbing my waist and dancing behind me. “Should we get a drink?”
I nod, desperately wanting some water. We walk back up to the bar and order some water. When I hear Anna mutter “Oh fuck” under her breath, I turn around, bottle of water in my hand, and look in front of us.
Adam.
Why is he here? Tracker told him . . .
When I see the woman with him, my body instantly goes on shutdown. On protection mode. My emotions disappear. Anything for self-preservation. How much of a dick can he be? I instantly feel bad for being so hard on Irish, when it’s clear Rake is the real asshole here. He knew I was here; he knew. Yes, I wasn’t meant to be here, but he could have made this pleasant by staying away. I guess that isn’t really fair though: he’s allowed to be with any woman he wants; it doesn’t really make him a bad person. I think the fact that it still hurts me is more concerning, and I have a feeling that if the situation was reversed, and I was here with another man, he wouldn’t be reacting by ignoring me.
How does he still have the power to hurt me after all these years? They say time heals everything, but it doesn’t. It dulls the pain, yes, but seeing this right here, rips open all the old wounds. Keeping my expression as blank as I can, I avoid Adam’s eyes, even though I can feel them on me, and turn around to face the bar again.
He isn’t mine.
And I don’t want him to be.
Then why does this hurt so much?
“Do you want to dance some more?” I ask Anna and Lana, who are both studying me a little too closely for my liking.
Don’t show weakness.
I have two rules in my life. First, never let them see you bleed. And two, always have an escape plan.
“Yeah,” Lana replies. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
I shake my head.
Leaving now will give him power, will let him know that he still has a hold on me. I don’t want that. I should hate this man with everything I have, but I don’t, which kind of makes me hate myself.
I’ll never forgive him for the past, so it’s best to let things be. What I feel for Adam, what I’ll always feel for him is irrelevant. It’s warped. It’s wrapped in anger, hate, and distrust. Underneath all that, yes, there is love, but love isn’t enough, at least not this time. What could have been a fairy-tale love has now turned into nothing but pain and harsh cold reality.
“No, why would I?” I say, my poker face being tested now more than ever before. “I love this song!”
I wrap an arm around each of them and head back to the dance floor without looking in his direction.
A few songs later, when the girls return to the bar for another drink, I can’t exactly avoid him anymore. He speaks to them, while I stand on the other side, scanning the bar, looking anywhere except at him. The woman who was with him has disappeared; hopefully she left. Realistically she’s probably in the bathroom or on the dance floor. When a figure appears on my left side, I know it’s him, so I don’t look up.
“You gonna ignore me all night?” he asks, elbows on the bar. “I think I’m being pretty cool, since I told you I didn’t want to see you here again.”
I turn my head and narrow my eyes. “You said I can hang out with the girls, and everyone wanted to come here, and they wanted me to come with them. Maybe you should stop being so petty and just let it go. You didn’t have to show up here tonight.”
“It’s my club,” he fires back. “I’ll show up here whenever the fuck I like.”
“Okay, fine,” I say, shrugging. “You own the club, but you don’t own me, so why don’t you just pretend like you don’t know me, and we can both have a good night. Just like I was doing before you decided to talk to me.”
“I’m not the boy you knew, Bailey. You can’t lead me around by the dick anymore. You have no idea who I am now, and it’s only because of our history that I’m cutting you some slack, but if you’re going to be hanging around my family, perhaps you should