Raine (Gods of the Fifth Floor #2) - M.V. Ellis Page 0,98
which you then shared with other people.”
“Those ‘other people’ are your business partners, not strangers. Besides, my telling the guys about you being sick had nothing to do with work, and everything to do with being a friend.”
“Are you insane? We’re not friends.”
“You know what? I think I am insane. And you’re right. We’re not friends. You know how I know?” I didn’t wait for him to respond, as I had the distinct impression that he wasn’t going to. Instead, I took a step closer to him.
“I know, because I’ve never felt for a friend the way I feel about you.” Another step. “I’ve never lain in my bed literally sick with worry about a friend, the way I have about you.” Another step. “I’ve never cried myself to sleep night after night over friends, the way I have over you.” Another step. “I’ve never hoped that a friend loved me enough to want to live, so that they could be with me, how I want to be with them, the way I want with you.”
Now I was so close to him that his chest brushed against mine as his breath came hard and fast.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Really Raine? You’re a smart guy. Are you genuinely going to stand there and tell me that you don’t know that I’m in love with you? Or that you have no idea that my heart is breaking for you, and for me, right now? Do you really think I would have shown that letter to the management team just to fuck with you, especially when I knew it could, and probably would, jeopardize my job?
“It’s your company, don’t forget. I was well aware of that when I went behind your back with that letter. The big risk was that the whole thing would blow up in my face like it has, but I was prepared to try anything. You know why?”
He shrugged, then looked over my shoulder into the middle distance behind me, totally avoiding eye contact. “Because no matter what happens with my role at BR&ND, no matter the consequences for me personally—whether I end up unemployed, or sued to hell and back. All of that would be worth it if it helped save you. Even if you hate my guts and never want to see or speak to me again.” Which was exactly how it was panning out.
Finally, he met my gaze, though I almost wished he hadn’t. The look of cool detachment in his icy blue eyes sent shivers down my spine, and not in a good way. “I know you’re desperate for a pet project, someone to ‘fix’ because you think it will somehow atone for what happened with your brothers, but that’s not how it works. Don’t you get it? I’m not here to be saved, or whatever, and I’m definitely not here to assuage your guilt. And you know what else? No matter how many broken people you pick up and try to put back together, none of it is going to make any difference. Your brothers are gone. They’re dead. Just like Lily. Kai, Lono, Lily, they’re all gone, and they’re never coming back, that’s the truth!”
His words cut into me like a sword in the guts. I felt them viscerally, so much so that I gasped. Raine didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t care.
“And as much as you think our situations are the same, or similar, they’re not. Yes, we’ve both lost siblings, and yes, we’re both hurting as a result, but that’s where the similarity ends. My Lily, she was young, and had her whole life ahead of her. She wasn’t in her prime—she hadn’t even hit it yet. She was vibrant, and optimistic and full of plans. Boyfriends, graduation, college, a career. These were all things she was planning for, and looking forward to. I took those things from her—her hopes and dreams, and if I hadn’t, she’d still be here today, living her best life. She wanted to live, and I robbed her of that opportunity.” His words rained down on me like a hail of bullets, each one hitting me hard.
“Your brothers had experienced all that stuff, but it wasn’t enough. They’d had all those opportunities, and they had you, and yet they still didn’t stay. They threw it all away.”
Tears fell from my eyes, hot and heavy like a river breaching a dam, as I stood rooted to the spot, listening to Raine’s