falls from my ribcage when Julian swings open the door to display Brandon standing on the other side. Excluding some droplets of blood on the collar of his dress shirt, he appears relatively uninjured. It’s the broken, lost boy I see in his eyes causing my stuttering response. He looks as defeated as I did when I peered at my reflection for the first time after my assault.
He’s hurting—badly.
My heart breaks for him when he signs, “I am so sorry—”
“Don’t,” I sign back, stopping his unnecessary apology as quickly as I push off my feet.
“I failed, Melody. I did exactly what your father said I would do.”
I push down his hands so he can’t sign another stupid word before I throw my arms around his neck. His raging pulse vibrates my lips when I press them against the shell of his ear. “You didn’t fail. I didn’t fail. Madden did. This isn’t our fault, BJ. We’re not to blame for anything that happened.”
He’s set to argue, but I don’t give him a chance. After inching back, I pull him into the entryway, kick the door closed, guide him to the couch, then crawl onto his lap. While comforting him how I should have after Joey’s death, I tell him I’m sorry for how badly he’s hurting and that I wasn’t there for him when I should have been.
I can’t tell if he believes me or not, his emotions are a little hard for me to read, but I don’t give up. I’ll stay in his arms until either the sun breaks through the curtains or my words break through the wall Brandon has erected between us.
My father always said the only time you fail is when you stop trying.
I stopped trying years ago.
That needs to end, and it will end with Brandon.
As my eyes slowly flutter open, I discover the reason the softness of cashmere is gracing my skin. Someone laid a blanket over Brandon and me. It must have occurred sometime after three this morning because the last time I glanced at my watch, it was only a few minutes away.
I won’t lie. The six or so hours before exhaustion overcame me were some of the toughest in my life. I couldn’t free Brandon from the torment eating him alive without hurting him. It was a cruel and twisted time, but it was also healing.
Not just for Brandon but me as well.
Although I cried more than I talked, it took the same amount of words for Brandon to comfort me. The sound of his heart thudding against my ear. The warmth of his hand running down my back. Even the way his five o’clock shadow tickled the tip of my nose when fatigue slowly overtook me was oddly soothing.
For the first time in years, I’m waking up minus the tired headache I usually have. I’m shocked I got any sleep. Brandon and I are still in the weird, pretzel-like cuddle we fell asleep in. It’s not the most comfortable position to rest in, however, a soul doesn’t need pristine conditions to heal. It just needs love.
That’s probably why I’m minus a thumping skull.
My soul finally feels whole again.
Brandon lets out a grumble when I untangle myself from him, but mercifully, he remains asleep. He didn’t get as many hours as me. The dark shadows under his eyes are proof of this, not to mention I heard him murmur my name when I startled myself a little after four this morning.
After a stretch to loosen my tight muscles, I cover Brandon with the blanket draped over us before making my way to the kitchen at the back of the living room. Julian usually has a coffee waiting for me on the bedside table any time I wake, so today I’m not just missing the groggy smile he normally delivers it with, I’m in desperate need of a sharp shot of caffeine.
My sluggish steps slow even more when I notice a suitcase sitting neatly outside the master suite doors. It’s Julian’s suitcase, and mine aren’t stacked next to them like they generally are.
“Julian…” I murmur before pushing open the partially open door of his suite. The healing my heart did overnight is shoved back a step when his eyes float up from his hands to me. He’s dressed in a powerhouse-ready suit, and he’s clean-shaven, but his usually alluring gaze is lost and broken. “Are you going somewhere?”
The daftness of my question can be easily excused. He’s like Brandon. He only