Skin burning now, I put down the phone. “Have you talked to anyone else?”
“Mrs. Liu informed your stepmother you were in hospital, and I followed up to assure her you were fine.”
Yeah, I guess Shanti was technically my stepmother. “What did she say?”
“She was thankful for the update as she’s been a bit worried about you. Apparently, you haven’t been your usual self.”
“They just found my mother’s bones in a car in the bush.”
“You haven’t been eating much, either. Shanti says you run on Coke and sweets.”
“So? Bad habits happen when I’m on deadline.”
“Do you also happen to sleepwalk to your sister’s bedroom doorway and stand there?” I’d never noticed how bushy his eyebrows were until this instant, when he raised both. “Thankfully, your sister wasn’t scared. She figured out what was happening because she once saw it on a TV show, and just led you back to your bedroom. Smart kid.”
Pari didn’t lie. And she didn’t make up stories.
I was the storyteller in the family. The professional liar.
My foot twinged, reminding me of another nocturnal walk, another memory blank.
“Your stepmother also hesitantly confessed something else when she realized who I was.” Dr. Binchy closed the file, dropped it onto his lap. “According to her, a neighbor’s seen you wandering about half-naked at night.”
Anastasia wouldn’t have spilled the beans. Had to have been Elei. Always watching.
“Are you saying I’m sleepwalking every night?”
“The implication was that it was a regular occurrence.” Dr. Binchy took off his glasses again, began to use the edge of his sweatshirt to wipe the lenses. “It’s probably because you’re playing fast and loose with your meds.”
Jaw grinding, I picked up my phone again and forwarded him the file I’d sent Gigi. “You read what I’ve been writing—that’s not the work of someone with a fucked-up brain.”
“The brain is an interesting organ. It could be that some parts of you are working with brilliance, while others are failing.” He held his glasses by one of the stems. “You need to be under constant neurological care until we’ve stabilized the levels of medication in your system. We also need to monitor your brain trauma more closely.”
“Not a chance, Doc.” No one was going to keep me from finishing what I’d started.
“I thought you’d say that. And since—at this point—you appear in control of your faculties, I’ll allow a heightened regime of checkups in lieu of inpatient care. Twice a week, my office. No room for negotiation.” His expression didn’t soften, but his voice was quieter as he added, “I won’t threaten you with any kind of forced medical intervention, but I will tell you that if you keep going as you are, you’re going to do permanent damage to your system.”
He’d said nothing about my license to drive and I decided not to remind him. If another migraine came on while I was driving, I could stop before I became a danger to anyone. Because I needed my car now more than ever.
If my brain was getting screwy, I had to finish this before I couldn’t.
Transcript
Session #13
“It feels as if I’m always apologizing to you.”
“Your reaction wasn’t violent the last time. That’s progress.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes, and you know I’m honest with you.”
“Even though I’m paying you, I think you might be one of the few people in my life who is honest. Everyone else wears masks, their own skin suits.”
“What makes you believe that?”
“People hide things all the time. And when you start looking under rocks, you find a whole bunch of venomous insects.”
43
Diana drove me home an hour later, after I’d agreed to Dr. Binchy’s terms, and convinced him I’d sleep better at home than in the constant low-level buzz of the hospital.
“I’m sorry.” Her hands strangled the steering wheel. “I didn’t want to say anything, but he’s a neurosurgeon and he kept pushing . . .”
“It’s fine, Diana. I must’ve freaked you out with the repetitive questions.”
“No, I thought it was just stress, you know? Because of how they found Nina.” A shaky smile. “You’re really not angry?”
I shook my head; it wasn’t her fault I had a brain injury and had screwed up my meds. “Mia told me that Beau was going for his piano exams. How did he do?”
“Oh, he passed with flying colors.” Her voice was dazzling now. “You see that boy—all slouchy and grumpy—and you think he does nothing but play video games, but then he goes and pulls off something like this. I swear, I have to