Quickdraw Slow Burn (Battle of the Bulls #3) - T. S. Joyce Page 0,41

and let him in, she angled her face and rested her cheek on his knee for a few seconds before she waited for him to start brushing.

“I think you should wear this outfit tomorrow to the event,” he murmured as he dragged the bristles of the brush down the back of her hair.

She laughed but then immediately groaned and rolled her head back. “That feels so good.”

He was going to make every inch of her body feel good eventually.

“What is rider tape?”

“I research the riders who draw me. Earlier today, when I was gone at the venue, they did the drawings, and Brandon Murphy got me.”

“Was he scared? Did you see him there?”

“He had big bravado and was giving me shit to impress his friends, but I saw something in his eyes. Fear and determination. We’ll see which one wins tomorrow.”

“Do you get nervous before a buck?” she asked softly.

“No. I get prepared. I trust my bull to throw whoever draws me. He doesn’t get nervous, so why should I? It’s work. I keep my body strong to be able to do my job. I stay ready. I leave the nerves up to the riders. You show weakness, they’ll see it and dig into it.”

“How do you not show weakness?”

“You don’t have any weakness in the first place.”

“You can’t have no weaknesses. You’re a man, not a machine.”

“Mmm,” he murmured, brushing her hair in long strokes.

“I’ll tell you one of mine if you share one of yours.”

He wanted to know every single thing about her, so he played. “Okay, what is yours?”

“The future has always terrified me. Ever since I was a kid. Ever since I was turned into a werewolf. I was really sick after Rork bit me. Sick for a long time, and I didn’t change into my wolf for two months. I was too weak. I thought I was going to die. My parents did, too. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me and were telling them I was just being dramatic. Like it was all in my mind—the muscle pains, loss of appetite, and the curling in and feeling empty one minute and all filled up with something I didn’t understand the next. It was bad. I think the uncertainty of that time made me dread uncertainty at all times. I wanted to have control and know everything that would happen. I would overthink every single thing that came my way. It was a good thing in my professional life, but not so much in my personal life. I’ve just started trying to loosen my grip on that control over the past couple of years. I try to go with the flow more, but it’s not natural for me.” She arched her head back and grinned up at him. “Now you go. What is your weakness?”

“It’s you,” he said simply and watched the smile fade from her lips.

“I don’t want to be a weakness for you. I want to be a strength.”

Good woman. “And you will be. As soon as I put a stop to Arrow and whoever he is working with. He is a threat to you and the herd. I guess all of you are my weakness. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt.”

“Felt what?”

“Anything but rage.”

“Why are you filled with such anger?” she asked.

Quickdraw grew quiet and chewed the corner of his lip, then ran his hand down his beard. This was a big admission he’d never said out loud to anyone before. “I think my bull was born broken.”

“You don’t seem broken to me.”

She would after he told her how his animal really was. “From my first change, he was angry. Hated people. Hated other bulls. He filled up my head and would take my body when I didn’t want him to, and I had to stay away from people when I was young. I would change and go after them, and I couldn’t stop it from happening. When I’m the bull, I’m only the bull, and he’s a monster. My parents had to move me out to the country. And the more alone I was, the emptier my human side felt, and the angrier my animal side grew. It was power, maybe. He likes the feeling of power. Fighting keeps him steady. I learned that. Bucking keeps him steady. Violence soothes him. So yeah, Annabelle. I’d say I’m pretty broken.” He swallowed hard. “I can’t count how many times I’ve wished to be human.”

Her eyes filled with deep