The Queen's Assassin (Queen's Secret #1) - Melissa de la Cruz Page 0,132
“Please, take it. Find the scrolls. You’re almost free. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”
“I am not free, not without my love,” he says, and this time, when he looks at me, I don’t look away.
My love. How do I answer that? There has always been so much unspoken between us. And yet now that we’re together, now that he’s saying the words I’ve so longed to hear, it is hopeless. Our fate is already sealed.
“Leave with me. We can run away; we’ve done it before. We can find the scrolls together,” he says, taking my hands in his. “Shadow. Be with me. Always. I am yours. Be mine.”
Oh, my heart. I cannot breathe and my entire body is aflame.
He is everything I never knew I always wanted.
Caledon Holt.
The Queen’s Assassin.
He is mine.
I can see it so easily. We could don servants’ garb and slip away in the night. Hansen would not look for me, at least not at first. But then my mother would wonder where I am at breakfast. An alarm would sound. Cal would be accused of kidnapping the princess, and the king’s bride. We would be hunted for the rest of our lives. If we were caught, he would be executed. I could never risk that. And there is more to think about than our fate.
I shake my head. “No, if we leave together, there’d be another war. Hansen has been placated by the promise of expanding his kingdom. If I disappear, he will blame the queen for his humiliation and he will invade Renovia. I can’t have that on my head.”
“But you can have it in your bed,” he says bitterly.
I flinch at his words. But he looks more resigned than angry.
“I have no choice. As you have been bound by an impossible vow, I, too, am tethered to a fate—but one that will never let me be free. But this is larger than you or me. I’m simply a vessel for an heir who will inherit two kingdoms. Our child will be wed to the heir of Argonia and Stavin. It is my mother’s plan to unite all the kingdoms of Avantine once more, through blood and marriage; to start a new Dellafiore dynasty.”
That silences him.
But I am not here to talk about Avantine history. I must go back to my chamber, and yet I am here, in my robe and nightshift. I need to ask something of him, and if I don’t do this now, I will never have the courage again.
“Cal, listen to me.” I reach for his hands. Mine are shaking. “Hansen will have my name and my kingdom. But he will never have my heart. That remains with you, my love, forever.”
In answer, Cal pulls me toward him and puts his hands on the sides of my face. “You will always be Shadow to me,” he says softly.
“Cal.” I want to say more, but soon there are no words between us. He puts his soft, warm mouth over mine, hesitant at first, then eager as I respond in kind, and somehow, none of this matters anymore. He breathes into me as his strong arms circle my waist, and I slide my own around his back, pulling him closer.
“We might not have tomorrow, but we have tonight,” I whisper.
At that, he pulls me down to the bed. We shed our clothing and slip under the covers. He kisses me all over so I can barely breathe.
The world narrows to the two of us in this room, our bodies fitting together as one. I pull him closer, closer, until he’s on top of me, and we move in sync as if dancing.
Our bodies joined as our hearts, we soar to the skies.
We are free.
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
Shadow
“COME BACK TO ME.” IT’S the earliest hours of morning; the sun is barely peeking over the horizon. I’ve spent the last few hours wrapped up with Caledon in his sheets, our legs and arms entwined, as if we cannot bear to be parted, and the truth is, we cannot.