Queen Takes Rose (Wicked Villains #6) - Katee Robert Page 0,85
It suddenly strikes me that he’s lumping my mother in with the monsters. “Was she really that bad?”
He doesn’t pretend to misunderstand. “She loved you. She wouldn’t have sent you away if she didn’t. But she wasn’t a good leader, and people were harmed while the territory was under her care.”
I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse. I had built up this picture in my head of the woman my mother must have been, driven by the hole her absence left in my life. But even Grandmother had criticisms of my mother. I draw in a shaky breath. “I don’t know if that changes anything.”
He nods. “That’s for you to figure out. Take your time.”
“She won’t wait for me.” The words burst from my lips despite my having no intention of saying them.
He gives me a slow smile. “You might be surprised what Malone will do if given half a chance.” He glances at the door. “The moment you walk out there, you’re going to be set upon by Meg and Allecto. They’ve likely called in Tink as well.”
My chest warms, but even knowing that my friends are closing ranks around me in my time of need isn’t enough to do more than highlight the gaping hole where my heart should be. The feeling of missing something vital, something I need to go on. There’s been too much new information today, too many revelations. I don’t know what to think, can barely see the path in front of me.
But the thought of letting Malone go forever?
Can I do that?
I rub my chest and stare hard at the empty whiskey glass. “I’ve never felt the way I do when I’m with her. Not with anyone else. It’s not comfortable.”
“Love rarely is.” Hades pushes to his feet and gathers the glasses and bottle. “It has a habit of showing up when you least expect it, with the people you least expect it from.”
He’s talking about Hercules. The son of his old enemy. The man he seduced out of a desire for revenge and ended up falling in love with.
I look up at him. “If we both fell for our enemies, what does that make us? Really smart? Or really foolish?”
“Ah, Aurora.” Hades smiles. It’s warm and soft and changes his entire face. “It makes us very, very lucky.”
As he turns to walk to his desk, I pull out my phone. I stare at it a long time, my thumb hovering over the call button. In the end, I’m not quite as brave as I’d like to be, because I text her instead.
Me: I need time to think.
She doesn’t make me wait long for a response. I watch the three dots appear and disappear for several long minutes before her reply appears.
Malone: I would think you made your feelings perfectly clear.
Me: Did you mean it? When you said you cared about me?
Again, those three dots. I stare hard at them, my entire body tight with a heady combination of fear and something like euphoria. It feels like a free fall, but I don’t entirely hate it.
Malone: I meant it.
I exhale a shaky breath.
Me: Will you give me a chance to figure some things out?
Malone: I detest having these conversations on text. Come to me when you want to talk.
Me: Wait for me?
This reply takes longer, but when the message lights up, some of the weight I hadn’t realized I’ve been carrying slips from my shoulders.
Malone: I will.
I know myself well enough to know that I have to sit with this knowledge for a while. To let go of my fantasy about how things were and reconcile msyelf with the truth. It hurts to think of my mother as a monster but… Am I really that surprised? Didn’t part of me know all along? One doesn’t claw their way to power in Carver City with kindness. They don’t keep that power without strength.
I don’t know what it says about me that, even after all this, the person I want to go to so I can talk and get my thoughts in order is Malone. I want to fall into her arms and pour out all the poison I’ve been carrying for so long. I want her to comfort me in the way only she’s capable of, with pain and pleasure intertwined in an exquisite dance. I want to hold her while she whispers her fears to me in the darkness that puts us on equal footing.