Queen Takes Rose (Wicked Villains #6) - Katee Robert Page 0,72
overwhelming. Maybe if I pretend I didn’t see it, I can ignore the way it makes me feel. As if she’s wrapped me in a cozy blanket and held me close. As if she cares.
Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad.
It’s been less than a week, and she’s already undermined everything I thought I believed in. What more can she do, given the rest of the assignation? Will I be panting after her like a love-struck fool when she sends me on my way?
Because she will send me on my way. This isn’t forever. It can’t be. Even without our history, I have no intention to stop working at the Underworld anytime soon. I love it there. Allecto and the others are the family I’ve chosen. The work is fulfilling and fun. There are plenty of people who frequent the place who wouldn’t have an issue with that, but Malone doesn’t strike me as a person who shares outside of the odd scene here and there. Choosing her means giving up all of that.
What am I even saying?
Bad enough that I can’t follow through on my revenge, and I can’t even pretend that I want to. Bad enough that I lust after my enemy. Bad enough that I now see her as a complicated person rather than the villain I’ve painted her.
Choosing her? Wanting to do more than fuck and scene, to actually spend time with her? How can I possibly want that?
Gods, I’m in danger of losing my mind. I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a storm pulling this way and that, threatening to tear me to pieces with the force of conflicting desires. It’s too much. It’s far too much.
My appetite disappears, and I spend the rest of the meal moving my food around on the plate. If Malone notices, she doesn’t comment. I hate that I appreciate the mercy. What would I say, after all?
I’m upset because I should want to kill you, but all I want to do is sit at your feet and worship you for the next ten years or so.
I really am a traitorous daughter.
23
Malone
Something is wrong with Aurora. The meal started off well enough, but somewhere in the middle of it, she shut down. I watch her as I finish my food, but she hasn’t taken a bite in nearly ten minutes. I already know that she won’t answer honestly if I ask what’s going through her head. That knowledge stings, though it has no right to. We’ve known each other a long time, but we’ve been opposed for most of that time. I can’t honestly expect her to crack herself open for me simply because I desire it.
And I do desire it.
“You’re staring.”
“I like looking at you.” It’s the truth, but I’ve never wanted the ability to read minds as much as I do right now. “You said you agreed to this because you lost someone recently.”
She tenses. “Yes.”
I set that knowledge aside when she first mentioned it because she obviously had no intention of telling me who it was, and she just as obviously didn’t want to talk about it. I can understand that. When my mother died, it was like someone punched a hole in my chest. I walked around in a daze for several weeks, and it’s only the loyalty and stubbornness of Sara and the others in my immediate circle that kept this territory running during that time. They ensured I’d have a safe place when I finally came back to myself.
Aurora doesn’t trust me. She might be using me to forget for a little while, but eventually she’s going to have to deal with whatever put that shadow in her eyes. And there’s a good chance I won’t be there to stand guard over her while she does, no matter how much I increasingly want to be that person.
No, I can’t be the safety net for her, not with our current relationship, but I can give her tonight. A scene to keep her firmly in her body and chase away the ghosts that linger around her.
Starting now.
I motion to her plate. “Are you finished?”
She frowns. “You’re not going to press me for more information?”
I desperately want to, but even I know when to stop a frontal assault and flank my opponent. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
I thought so. “There’s your answer. Now, answer my question.”