timing,” Lucas says and then winces. “Well, not good, favorable?”
“I know what you mean. I didn’t kill the baby, and my father didn’t. At least Nancy got to take a baby home from the hospital.” Lacing my fingers with Lucas’s, I rest his hand over my abdomen. “We already feel attachment to this baby and it’s the size of a seed. I can’t imagine having a baby, raising a child for years, and then…then…”
“Giving them up?”
“That too, but realizing the kid was never really mine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I feel bad for Nancy or give her a pass for what she did, but the whole situation was so fucked up.”
“It was,” Lucas agrees. “Though wouldn’t you still love the child just the same. Like you said, she raised you. Cared for you and loved you. How can you throw that all away?”
“I don’t know.” My eyes close again as exhaustion weighs on me. “You hear crazy stories about people being switched at birth. It’s like a one-in-a-million chance thing, but it happens. And if it did and I raised a baby who wasn’t biologically mine…I don’t think I could just give them up.”
“We have no choice in the blood that binds us,” Lucas starts, pressing his lips to my neck. “But love is thicker than blood. As our love has proven.”
And now I can’t stop the tears from falling. I twist, moving so I’m straddling Lucas. I press my lips to his, salty tears running down my face.
“Don’t waste a single ounce of your energy wondering or worrying about Nancy fucking Martin,” Lucas tells me, hands fastening around my waist. “Biological or not, you were here child, and she sold you like a worthless animal. She willingly let her other daughter—the one I’m sure she had DNA tested—believe for years that her own sister was thrown away like a piece of trash. Abby has done well for herself, but the guilt over the years has weighed on her. We can both see that.”
“Now it’s my turn to be guilty.”
“Stop,” Lucas gently scolds. “You saved your sister’s life. Indirectly, at least. And you spared her from years of therapy.”
“I know,” I sigh, not wanting to get into how she wouldn’t have gotten shot if it weren't for me. Which if I want to be fair, I can trace back and put the blame on that fucking vampire who sent Roger after me.
My hit list keeps getting longer and longer.
“Try to relax.” Lucas slides his hands up my waist and cups my breasts. I’m not wearing a bra with this dress, and he lets out a throaty growl when his thumbs slide over my nipples.
And then I wince.
“Sorry. Sensitive nipples are a pregnancy side effect.” Lucas lowers his hands, trying hard not to look disappointed.
“You need to stop vampire-speed reading the pregnancy websites,” I grumble. “You know more about it than I do.” Refusing to give up, I put his hands back on my breasts. I usually love when he plays with my nipples, and I’ve never suffered from tender breasts before during my period.
This whole feeling more human thing sucks.
“Just…be gentle?”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He lowers his hands again.
“This is weird.” I let out a sigh and rest my head against Lucas’s. “It’s like my body isn’t mine anymore, and I don’t have a big stomach yet.”
“What you’re feeling is normal,” Lucas assures me as he picks me up and lays me down on the couch next to him. “I might have read through an entire thread where first-time moms discussed it.”
“I’m going to have to get on that. Or maybe talk to Abby because she’s the only person I converse with who has children. Fuck. I’m going to be the first of my friends to have a baby. I always thought it would be Kristy. She’s so nurturing.”
“I just couldn’t help but knock you up.”
I laugh. “You love saying that.”
“I do.” He kisses me and hooks his leg over mine. “Are you tired?”
“Exhausted.”
“Let’s go to bed.”
I close my eyes again. “I like being by the fire.”
“Do you want me to bring the mattress down?”
“You’d do that?” I lift my head and turn, looking into his gorgeous blue eyes.
“If you want to sleep by the fire, then we will sleep by the fire. I’m comfortable on the couch with you, but you do tend to move around a lot in your sleep. My pregnant wife is not sleeping on the floor.”