Queen of the Fae (Dragon's Gift The Dark Fae #3) - Linsey Hall Page 0,44
the lies that I could no longer keep. Yet I didn’t know how to say. Frustration made me feel like I was going to burst.
So I said something that wasn’t entirely true. “I just hate this fated mates thing. It’s so hard to trust that we’re in control of our own actions. That you really want me and it’s not just fate driving you.”
He laughed, a slightly weary sound. “Hardly.”
I scowled at him.
His gaze, when it met mine, was hot with banked fire. “I would want you if we were fated enemies.”
“We kind of are, aren’t we?” The memory of the premonition flashed in my mind. “How could we possibly be fated mates, considering who my mother is and what she is trying to do?”
He strode toward me and gripped my shoulders, pulling me close. The tortured frustration that radiated off of him was so strong it was nearly visible as an aura. “You drive me insane, Mari. Your mother is literally my greatest enemy, responsible for the death of my only family. But you? No. You are not my enemy. You are my Mograh.”
I drew in a shuddery breath.
“Discipline is my life,” he said. “In every aspect, I have no problem doing what I must.”
That was an understatement. He didn’t want to be king. Never had. Yet he let his entire kingdom think he had murdered his brother for the throne, solely so he could preserve his brother’s legacy and protect his kingdom. He had crafted it specifically so they would believe that.
“And yet with you, I can’t fight what’s happening between us.” His voice sounded torn from his throat. “And I don’t know that I want to try.”
I didn't want to either. Part of me wanted him forever, which sounded crazy. But I couldn’t have it. Not as long as I was fated to kill him.
Guilt flashed through me.
Fates, I’m a mess.
A total, freaking mess.
I met his gaze, my heart thundering. “It’s fate making you say these things.”
I hated this fated mate connection. It made it even harder to trust the one you were falling for. Were his feelings real, or manipulated by some cosmic connection? Was it just fate meddling or his own emotions?
My own emotions? I didn’t want that bitch making decisions for me.
“It’s not.” Intensity shined in his gaze. “It’s you. Fated connection or no, it’s you.”
I scowled at him. “How can I trust that?”
“You’re smart and strong and stubborn and a bitch. And I like it.”
“That’s supposed to be a compliment?” I asked the question, but the truth was, it sure sounded like one to me. Bitches got shit done.
“The highest compliment. I don’t want a weak woman. Or a nice woman. I want a fighter. One who does the right thing, even when it’s hard.”
“I’m not nice?”
He shook his head. “No. You’re kind. There’s a difference. One is a social tool; the other is real. You are real. And I want you, no matter what fate says.”
Warmth ignited inside me.
I wanted him, too. Liked him, too. Like his reluctant leadership of the Seelie kingdom. The sacrifice he’d made for his brother. The way he was kind to Burn.
The realization made my heart flutter. Panic followed close on its heels.
The world was bearing down on us, and every vision I’d had of the future was bad.
I couldn’t fall for him right now. Couldn’t be distracted from what lay ahead of us.
“I’m fated to kill you!” I burst out, determined to drive him off this path. Determined to finally tell the truth, now that I was running out of time to change the future. I pulled back, my mind racing. “I thought I could stop it. But I don’t know if I can.”
“What?” Confusion flickered in his gaze.
“Tarron. I’m fated to kill you.”
12
He frowned, disbelieving. “Explain.”
His tone was neither angry nor frightened—though to be honest, I wouldn’t have expected fear from him.
I recounted the vision I’d been keeping to myself, feeling guilt washing over me. This was a huge lie.
“But it may not even happen,” he said. “Aethelred said that we don’t know if you see the one true future or a possible future.”
“Right. But it could happen.”
“But it hasn’t.”
“I lied.”
“You omitted.” His brow furrowed. “I can’t abide the lies, but this isn’t the same as hiding the past or something you know for certain.”
“It feels the same.”
He gripped my hand. “I—”
Connor entered the room through the door behind the counter, and I jerked.