Pull You In (Rivers Brothers #3) - Jessica Gadziala Page 0,48

realizing there was another embarrassment in my life that I had been blithely unaware of, hadn't gotten a chance to stress over for weeks or months.

"He just has a big mouth, Kate. He said some things. And then I said some things back because, well, you know me, I don't play that shit. And then he left."

"He said some things like...about me?" I asked, feeling nauseated that maybe he'd told them what he had thrown in my face about being cold in bed, maybe he'd quipped about how it was ironic that I worked in a sex business when I sucked at sex or something like that.

"He said some things about me," she corrected.

"He hit on you?"

"It's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. I'm so sorry."

"Ah, yeah, you're not the one who did it, so you don't need to apologize. But, yeah, that was how I knew he was an asshole. I did a little jig inside when you divorced him. You can do better."

"I don't know about that," I admitted. I wasn't someone who talked about personal things easily with others, but something about Fiona's Kool-Aid-Man approach of bursting into my life was making me feel like she genuinely wanted to be there, that she did want to have a chat with me. "I, ah, I have never been good with the whole dating thing."

"Well, yeah, because the whole dating thing blows. I was never good at the whole dating thing either. If Hunter hadn't moved next door to me and taken an interest, I would likely still be single and living in the city selling my dirty panties. I had no patience for dating. It is designed to be awkward."

"Add on my social awkwardness and—"

"You're not that awkward, Kate," Fee cut me off. "I mean, really. You're not. I think you think it is worse than it is. And I get that it's your anxiety that does that, but I just figured I would let you know that it's not like you're some freak. You smile and make small talk and you are friendly to people who happen in the door. I get that it might not be easy to you, come natural to you, but you're not a freaky loner who can't string a couple words or sentences together."

"Work is one of my comfort places."

"I bet if we went out for drinks, you would be nice to the server. I bet you could make small talk with her if she started it. I'm not downplaying your anxiety and you know, for lack of a better term, issues. But they are not as obvious as I imagine you worry they are. Just throwing that out there to mull over. But, yeah, you could date. But dating sucks. And, besides, there are better ways."

"Better ways like how?"

"Like stopping being so stubborn, and talking things out with Rush."

"Nothing is going to happen between Rush and me, Fee," I insisted.

"Well, why not?" she asked.

"Because, I don't know, it's just not."

"Give me facts and figures to mull over."

"Fact," I started, taking a deep breath. "He is one of the most attractive guys on the planet. Also fact, I am not one of the most attractive girls."

"Okay, first, we covered this. You're pretty. Secondly, even if you weren't, beauty is subjective. Everyone has a different type. Or they don't care at all about the outside, and they like a good brain or sense of humor. Did you ever notice that the uber-hot Hollywood guys tend to have rather girl-next-door wives? They could have any superficially gorgeous woman in the world but there is something else that they love most about those other women."

"What kind of women have you seen Rush with?" I asked, a part of me needing the confirmation bias, needing to validate my insecurities, no matter how messed up that was.

"Honestly, he hasn't dated-dated much over the years. I mean there was one girl years back. I barely remember her. She was small and with like in-between colored hair. All I can seem to remember about her is that she hated mashed potatoes."

"How can you hate mashed potatoes?"

"I know, right? I think she was a sociopath. Potatoes are practically my love language. But yeah... he has always been kind of casual with women. I mean with his work schedule, it's no wonder. At our work and then helping out with King. No woman wants to be second fiddle to some guy's jobs. And, you know, the whole phone sex