Stupid damned streetlights, getting all blurry like that. I blinked a lot and stayed quiet. My throat was too tight to speak, anyway.
“I know what it’s like,” he said. “There isn’t any way to make it disappear. But it gets better with time and distance.” He studied me for a moment. “If you had it to do again, would you?”
“Twice as hard,” I said at once.
“Then what you did was a necessity, Harry. It might be painful. It might haunt you. But at the end of the day, so long as you did what you believed right, you’ll be able to live with yourself.”
“Yeah?” I asked, chewing on my lower lip.
“I promise,” he said.
I darted a glance at him. “You don’t… think less of me? Knowing that I’m a murderer?”
“It isn’t my place to judge what you’ve done. I regret that those lives were lost. That their owners never found redemption. I worry for the pain you’ve inflicted on yourself in retrospect. But I don’t for an instant think that you would choose to take a human life unless you absolutely had to.”
“Seriously?”
“I trust you,” Michael said, his voice calm. “I would never have left my family in your protection if I didn’t. You’re a decent man, Harry.”
I exhaled slowly and my shoulders loosened. “Good.” And then, before my brain could get in the way, I added, “I picked up one of the Blackened Denarü, Michael. Lasciel.”
My heart skipped several beats as I made the admission.
I expected shock, horror, outrage, maybe with a side order of contempt.
But instead, Michael nodded. “I know.”
I blinked at him. “You what?”
“I know,” he repeated.
“You know. You knew?”
“Yes. I was taking the trash around the house when Nicodemus’s car went by. I saw the whole thing. I saw you protecting my youngest.”
I chewed on my lip. “And… I mean, you aren’t going to slug me and drag me off to a private suite in the Asylum for Wayward Denarians?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Michael said. “Remember that the Knights of the Cross were not founded to destroy the Denarians. We were founded to save them from the Fallen. It is therefore my duty to help you in whatever way I can. I can help you discard the coin if that is what you wish to do. It’s best if you choose to do it yourself.”
“I don’t need to discard it, actually,” I said. “I haven’t really taken the coin up. I buried it. Never used it.”
Michael looked surprised. “No? That is good news, then. Though it means that the Fallen’s shadow is still attempting to persuade you, I take it?”
This time the mental chuckle was a little more clear. I thought Oh, shut up very hard and sent it in Lasciel’s direction.
“Trying,” I said.
“Keep in mind that Lasciel is a deceiver,” he said quietly. “One with thousands of years of practice. It knows people. It knows how to tell you lies you want to believe are true. But it exists for a single purpose—to corrupt the will and beliefs of mankind. Don’t ever forget that.”
I shuddered. “Yeah.”
“May I ask what it’s told you?” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “No, wait. Let me guess. It’s appeared to you as an attractive young woman. She offers you knowledge, yes? The benefit of her experience.”
“Yeah.” I paused and added, “And Hellfire. Makes my spells hit harder when I need them to. I try not to use it much.”
Michael shook his head. “Lasciel isn’t called the Temptress for nothing. She knows you. Knows what to offer you and how to offer it.”
“Damn right she does.” I paused a moment, then added, “It scares me sometimes.”
“You’ve got to get rid of the coin,” he said with gentle urgency.
“Love to,” I said. “How?”
“Give up the coin of your own will. And set aside your power. If you do, Lasciel’s shadow will dwindle with it and waste away.”
“What do you mean, set aside my power?”
“Walk away from your magic,” he said. “Forsake it. Forever.”
“Fuck that.”
He winced and looked away.
The rest of the trip to his home passed in silence. When we got there, I told Michael, “Molly’s stuff is back at my place. I’d like to take her back there to get it. I need to have a talk with her, tonight, while everything is fresh. I’ll have her back here in a couple of hours, tops.”
Michael glanced at his sleeping daughter with a worried frown, but nodded. “Very well.” He got out and shut the door, then