The Protector (Fire's Edge #4) - Abigail Owen Page 0,78

a dragon might not find his mate.

What the hell did that mean?

That he thought she was his mate? Or that he was willing to give up the dream of finding his true mate, the woman the fates had destined to be his, in order to be with Lyndi because he thought he’d found something special with her?

Does it matter? He’s getting us to a mountain and then leaving.

The pall of that realization, which hadn’t been entirely real until now, hung over every moment. As though she was waiting for him to suddenly fly away and be like, “See ya.” Her dragon gnashed her teeth at Lyndi. She hadn’t been happy with her a lot lately.

Not really, Lyndi answered her own question. Because either way she looked at it, Levi was thinking of giving up the most precious thing in his life—a blessing every dragon shifter kept going through this long life with the desperate hope of finding.

And he’d turn his back on that. For her. When she was halfway around the world, sterile, and on the run.

Gods help her.

When she’d been old enough to understand what she was—a female-born dragon shifter—and that made her…wrong—a word others used—and what that meant, she’d made a vow to herself. She would never, ever mate a dragon shifter. Without the bond that turning a mate created, she and Levi would only be a pale version of what was possible. A facsimile of the real thing. Worse, without that bond, their mating wouldn’t extend his life. Or hers, but she’d always known her life would be cut short.

Lyndi knew herself, even when she’d been young. She would need to love to consider mating at all. Love on both sides. But how could she love someone that way and allow him to sacrifice perfection for something so much…less?

She knew she couldn’t. Even then.

Now, looking at Levi, the reality of this truth was so much harder to live. This was why she’d held him at arm’s length, sniped at him, kept him solidly in the annoying older brother box, for decades. Centuries.

Because she’d fallen in love with him a long time ago and part of her had known it would hurt this much when she finally realized the truth.

A wail of anguish rose silently from a place buried so deep inside her, she thought the sound might break her, even as she contained it inside, clamping her lips shut. Her dragon lifted her head and howled, echoing the pain of the loss they were about to go through together. A thousand times worse than any other loss in her life.

Oh gods. How am I going to survive this?

Levi, still grinning, turned his head and caught her stare. Lyndi tried to pull off a casual smile and went back to rolling her sleeping bag into the ultra-small bundle it could become.

Two boots moved into her line of sight. “Something on your mind?”

I can’t let you go.

Tomorrow, the coward in her justified. After they found the mountain and relative safety. Once she could get a grip on herself, then she’d cut the ties and send him on his way to do his duty for his king.

She shook her head, not looking up as she focused on her task. Except she knew if she didn’t give him a reason for her staring a second ago, he’d keep poking. “I was just thinking you’re good with the boys.”

Levi squatted down beside her, broad shoulders filling her vision. “Finally appreciating my assets, huh?” he teased.

Gods, that crooked, goofy grin might be what she’d miss most about him. “I’ve always appreciated you.”

Damn. That came out way too honest, the throaty quality to her voice revealing more of her emotions than she wished.

Levi’s eyebrows shot up. “Could’ve fooled me.”

At the odd note in his voice, Lyndi paused what she was doing to look at him, really look, more closely. Maybe she wasn’t the only one vulnerable here. No matter what happened between them tomorrow, she couldn’t let him keep thinking that she’d hated him all this time.

“Any time Drake went out on a call…I felt worlds better if you were part of the group going with him.”

Levi blinked at her. “You did?” he said slowly, as though he was rolling her words around in his mind and not making sense of them.

She didn’t look away, trying to let him see how much she meant this. “Your protective instincts might be a pain in the ass when you get in my way or speak a