Protecting Her - Alexis Noelle Page 0,15

saying the things he said to me. I want to tell him to leave me alone and not to come back. I want him to hold me and tell me that I will be okay. I want him to be someone I can count on, I need at least one person in my life. The life I live is filled with people around me constantly but none of them are actually in my life. None of them actually give a shit.

“Sam?” I look up at him and he is sitting next to me. “Talk to me.”

“Why, so you can throw it in my face the next time you feel bipolar? So that you can pretend that you care and then act like a complete asshole later? I’m good, thanks.” I turn away from him. I want to trust him. I want to let him in. But he is a risk that I can’t take right now. And he’s proven that I can’t let my guard down.

“I’m not good for you. I know that. I am a fucking asshole, and honestly it’s hard fucking work to keep that shit up. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help. The problem is, I don’t know if I can help you. I can’t have the past repeat itself.” His head is aimed at the floor, his eyes unwilling to meet mine. I can hear the pain in the strain of his voice. What happened in the past? What does that have to do with me now?

I’m about to ask him all of this when the door opens once again. The last person I want to see walks in, my mother. “Samantha, has the doctor been in? Did he say what happened? When will they release you? I need to know how many things to reschedule.”

Hi Mom, I’m feeling okay. The doctor said I have an eating disorder. Love you too. I should be used to it by now but I’m not. I just want her to be my mother, to care. “I don’t know when I will be getting out.” That’s all I say to her. Tears prick my eyes as the words escape my mouth from the struggle of trying to hide my emotions.

Hunter’s hand grips mine and I look over at him. I know he hates the way she treats me and it’s like he is trying to make up for it.

“Well, I will just go to the nurse’s station and find out. This is absurd; you are perfectly healthy, everyone suffers from exhaustion.” Before I can reply, she is out the door to go pester the nurses.

“Why do you put up with her shit?”

Well, if that isn’t the million dollar question. “I don’t know. I mean, she’s my mother.”

“Exactly. You’re her daughter Sam, not just a fucking paycheck.” What he says resonates with me more then he knows. My mother and I used to have a good relationship and I miss those days. I don’t trust Hunter with my feelings though. I can’t open up to him, just to be shut down or have it used against me later.

“Who are you to talk? I’m just a paycheck to you, aren’t I? Oh no wait, I’m also the one night stand. You haven’t treated me any better than her, so how can you sit there and act all high and mighty?”

I see hurt flash in his eyes before it’s replaced with anger. “You know what? Fuck this.” He stands up and moves toward the door. “If this is what you want, then I’ll leave. Have fun with the hyena.”

It’s not what I want. I just don’t know how to accept someone actually being here, I’m so used to being alone.

Before I can protest, he is out the door.

I’m alone, once again.

Chapter Nine

Samantha

The phone rings beside me, making me jump. I’m half asleep, since trying to get any rest in this hospital is basically impossible. Thank God I’m getting discharged today. I see it’s my mother calling and take a deep breath before answering it.

“Hey, the doctor said I should be out of here within an hour.”

“That’s good. I’m just calling to let you know I need to take a meeting. I’ll ask Joe to come get you.” I hear the clicking of a keyboard in the background and between that and her detached tone, I know she is only half present in this conversation.

“You’re really not going to come?” I try to mask the hurt in my voice but