The Proposal - Kitty Thomas Page 0,85

away from them. There has to be a way...”

I shake my head. “Don't, Macy.” I take a deep breath. “I think I want this now—the three of them.” This may be the first time I've admitted this to myself. Hearing it out loud is strange and unsettling.

“How? He's such a... monster.” Her face is horrified, filled with a new kind of judgment.

“Just don't, okay? He's meeting my needs. They all are.”

I don't have to say anything else because Macy and I have had big long talks about deep dark twisted fantasies. Over boxes of wine. Over margaritas. During late night slumber parties through the years.

“Oh.” It's all she can say. And I can tell she's struggling between the absolute evil of Soren's behavior and the fact that it's meeting my needs.

“I don't understand how this is going to work,” she says.

“That's what my mother said.”

“Your mom knows?”

“Not what you do, not that this arrangement wasn't my choice. I'd rather she think I'm a slutty nymphomaniac than a hostage.”

“Do you think they'd ever let you go?”

I shake my head. “No.” I glance up at the tower on one side of the house—the one Soren threatened to lock me in if I tried to escape him. I still think he'd do it, and I wish I could be more angry and indignant about it. I wish I could hate him, hate them. The truth is, I want to be in their cage. It feels oddly secure.

I can see how torn my friend is. I've felt all those same feelings. I know her well enough to know there's a part of her that wants to rescue me, a part of her that wants to be happy for me, and a part of her that might be a tiny bit jealous, then a giant part of her that feels crazy for everything but the rescue part. All these feelings play across her face in quick repeating succession until I'm afraid she'll short circuit or something.

Finally she sighs. “Even if you weren't a hostage, how could this work? How can it last? This isn't realistic.”

“Well, Dayne appears to be a history buff who knows all about how his ancestors supposedly made it work, so maybe he's got the recipe to the secret sauce stashed away somewhere.”

Macy leans her head back against the head rest, looking up at the interior roof of the car. “Fuck. Don't hate me Liv, but part of me doesn't care if you're a hostage. Look at them. They're gorgeous and successful. I'm not going to lie, I'm totally jealous. I'd take that cage, too.”

Is she actually teasing me about this? We might survive after all. I'll just have to remember to lock the front door.

“I'm willing to teach my dating methods for the low low price of your silence,” I say.

She laughs, and that's when I know we're going to be okay. She won't tell my secrets, and she won't judge me. Deep down I think I already knew this.

“How big was your crush on Griffin?” I ask, still feeling bad that she'd hoped to get together with him.

Macy sighs. “I really liked him, and it hurt me when I saw you kissing him, but I mean it's not like we dated or anything. I just thought he was hot. I thought I could have the fairy tale like you.”

This admission crushes me. If anybody deserves the fairy tale it's Macy with her adorable auburn hair and freckles and all her historical wedding facts.

“It's the dimple isn't it?” I say.

“God, yes, the dimple kills me. But he did say he had a girlfriend at the reception, so it isn't like he led me on or anything. Wait... he doesn't have a girlfriend, right? Like, someone besides you?”

I shake my head. “He doesn't have a girlfriend.”

We sit in almost comfortable silence for several minutes until I finally say, “Macy?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For being someone I could share this with. You don't know how big of a relief it is to have someone else who knows the truth.”

We spend the next hour or so talking in more detail about how all of this came about. She's heard all about Soren but she'd missed out on the stuff about Griffin and Dayne and how I met them. I jump when someone knocks on the driver's side window.

“You're in my seat.”

I look up to find my mother standing there. I open the door and get out.

“We're going to head back,” my mom says. “Is Macy okay, now?”

“Yeah.