The Promise of Paradise - By Allie Boniface Page 0,39
and picked at the covers. Because everything else in her life was a total mess right now. Because she couldn't get involved when she'd be leaving town in a couple of months. But mostly because it scared her, the way she felt around Eddie.
“Colin called me the other night,” she said instead of answering.
“You’re kidding.”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“What did he want?”
Ash reached for the bottle of water beside her bed. “I guess to apologize.”
“Screw him.” Jen narrowed her gaze. “Did you hang up on him? Tell him to go to hell?”
But it wasn’t that easy. Ash couldn’t just say goodbye to all that. Colin had been her life for three years. She thought he’d be her future, too.
“Ash, don’t even tell me you’re thinking about taking him back.”
“I’m not,” she lied.
Jen narrowed her eyes. “Listen, I’ve got to catch the train. I’ll call you later tonight, okay? And we’ll talk about it.” She gave Ash a quick hug and turned to go. “But let me just say, for the record, that Eddie West is more of a man than Colin will ever be. Screw the pedigree and the money and whatever else you think Colin has to offer you. A hundred of him wouldn’t add up to half the personality of that guy living downstairs.”
“Yeah, I know,” Ash said to the door that closed behind her friend. That was part of the problem.
* * *
Ash finished wiping the last dish and set it in the strainer. After a late lunch of leftover pizza, her stomach had finally calmed down a little. She tuned the radio to a local jazz station and made her way into the living room. Eddie had left one message on her voicemail about an hour ago. She hadn’t called him back yet.
What do I say? Do I act like nothing happened? Do I pretend it didn’t change anything? Should she call him back? Invite him up? And if she did, what happened when—or if—he kissed her again? Without Jen to interrupt them, Ash wasn’t sure she could trust herself to stop what had started last night.
She shook her head as another thought snuck its way in. What if it didn’t mean anything to him? Her fingers tightened around the arm of the couch. She knew as well as anyone how much Eddie liked women. Maybe kissing to him was as natural as breathing. Maybe he’d been swept away by the late hour and too much to drink. Maybe he’d simply wanted to see how she tasted, so he could add her to his list and keep on moving.
Ash tried to quiet the buzzing inside her skull. Pulling a notebook from the end table, she tucked her legs beneath her, meaning to work out a plan. That was how she’d always tackled the tough problems, back in school. Lay everything out on paper, and then sort out a solution.
She found a pencil and made two columns. She wrote “Eddie” on top of one and “Colin” headed the other. A solid line split the two in half. Now just be objective. Just come up with a list, something measurable, so you can balance one against the other and—
Someone knocked on her door.
The pencil dropped from her fingers and rolled beneath the couch.
“Ash?”
Eddie. Desire sang inside her veins. “Just a minute.” She stuffed the notebook between two cushions and went to the door. Opening it, she blurted a breathless, “Hi.”
The way he looked down at her, with sleep-wrinkles lining the edge of his face and a toothpaste smile, sent her mind reeling all over again. “Hi, yourself.”
He didn’t try to kiss her, or even touch her. He just stood there and looked, the way he had the very first day he moved in. “You feeling okay?”
She wasn’t sure how to answer that. “Sure. You?”
He leaned in the doorway. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
She went cold. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.” She pushed the door wider, certain by his serious tone that he meant to set the record straight. He’d say last night had been a mistake. He’d tell her he was involved with someone else. Or that he was getting back together with Cass.
Ash bit her bottom lip and sat down on the couch. Stuffing her hands beneath her thighs, so they wouldn’t betray her by reaching over to touch him, she waited.
“I know we’ve only been living here a few weeks.”
True.
“And I know you think I’m the kind of guy who sleeps