The Program Page 0,83
Wellness Center, but worry has started to work its way into my consciousness. What goes on at the Wellness Center? And what will the people who haven’t gone through The Program think of me?
I’m different than them.
I take a deep breath and sit on the edge of my bed, trying to calm myself. I think that I should have taken the pill because right now an inhibitor would come in handy. But then I remind myself that I want to know what’s going on around me. And I’m not sure I can do that if I’m medicated to the point of numbness all the time.
Downstairs, the doorbell rings, and I cast one more glance at my reflection. “Who are you?” I murmur, waiting a minute for my mind to answer. But it doesn’t.
• • •
I don’t know what I expected from the Wellness Center, but I certainly didn’t expect this. I thought it would be more like The Program facility—sterile and cold. But this place is crowded, people chatting and laughing. I try to relax into it, but I don’t see Lacey right away. My anxiety spikes, but I try not to react. I don’t want Kevin to know I didn’t take my pill tonight.
“So where do you want to start?” he asks, motioning ahead. “There might be some seats near the foosball table.”
“Sure,” I say, lowering my eyes. Some of the people in the room have noticed me, and it makes me incredibly self-conscious. I’m not sure I’m ready for this.
We start zigzagging our way through the crowd, Kevin’s hand protectively on my arm. A few people say hi. When we get close to the table, I hear a loud laugh and look over to the couch, catching the back of a blond ponytail.
“I should be okay,” I tell Kevin then, gently tugging my arm free. “I’m heading that way.” I point toward the couch, and he nods. To my relief, he goes to lean against the wall near another handler, giving me a little privacy.
“There you are!” Lacey calls out, standing up to meet me as I cross to her. On the couch are two guys—strangers—and I nod politely at them. God, why am I so nervous?
“Hey,” I say as Lacey pauses to look me over. She immediately undoes the second button on my shirt before she smiles.
“Sloane, this is Evan,” she points to a dark-haired guy, “And this is Liam. Actually,” she says, leaning close to whisper to me, “Liam isn’t even a returner. But he’s not depressed so no worries.”
I glance at Liam then, taking in his reddish-blond hair, his dark brown eyes. He’s watching me with a smirk on his lips, something about it a little unsettling. “Come and sit down, Sloane,” he says, patting the spot next to him. “It’s so great to . . . meet you.”
I dart a glance at Lacey, but she’s already back on Evan’s lap, chatting away as if this is completely normal and we’ve all hung out before. I turn and look back over the room.
The Wellness Center is small, although lively. Bright colors, spirited games with laughing. Most of the people here are dressed like me—preppy and stiff. Then there are a few others, some with wide eyes as they search the room. By their comfortable clothes I think that they’re not returners. When my gaze lands on Kevin, he nods to me, as if saying it’s okay to be confused. It actually makes me feel a little better.
I sit on the couch, but flinch as Liam’s thigh touches mine. My mind swirls through different memories, repeating some and reverberating them back to me. I remember camping with my brother, just the two of us. I can feel there’s something else, but I don’t have time to think about it when Liam leans his shoulder into mine.
“So how long were you in The Program?” he asks.
I’m almost offended by the question, as if it’s too personal for someone I just met to ask me. But I’m probably being overly sensitive. “Six weeks.”
“And they did something to you, right? Like messed with your head or something?”
Okay, now I am offended. Liam must notice because he quickly apologizes and shoots a cautious glance at my handler.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says. “It’s just that I’m friends with Evan, but I didn’t know him before The Program. I’m just curious as to how it changes people. How it changed you.”
“I wouldn’t really know, now would I, Liam?” I