Prognosis Baby Daddy - Amy Andrews Page 0,30

out of it but there was something in her actions, in the way she was launching into this crazy plan, that told him she didn’t want to walk away from the baby.

And if he agreed to Katya’s proposal, if raising their child became his responsibility, then surely he’d be remiss if he didn’t demand the best? Which was two loving parents.

‘You don’t have to do it alone, cara. I’ll be there to help you.’

Katya stared at him, captivated by the promise in his words. But how often had she heard her mother’s men say the same thing? Years of ingrained mistrust couldn’t be undone so easily.

If she stayed, if she married him, what would happen to the child when it all fell apart? Like her mother’s relationships always had? Would their child be forced to pick up the pieces as she had done? Did she want to inflict that on her baby?

Repeat the cycle?

Katya shook her head again before she did something stupid like say yes. ‘No.’ She must not let a Count with long eyelashes and silky promises ruin her focus. ‘But I’m pleased it will have a father,’ she said, rubbing her tummy again. ‘I didn’t have a father...I missed that. No doubt you did, too.’

Yes, he had. But he’d had a mother. Probably the only person more important than the father in a child’s life. ‘Yes, I did. But a child needs a mother more. What about breastfeeding? Don’t you want the best start in life for our child?’

Katya swallowed as an image of her with Ben’s baby snuggled in close rose before her. She could see its dark downy hair and almost feel the pull of its hungry mouth. ‘Plenty of babies are bottle-fed in this world. If that’s the worst that can happen, it’ll be doing OK.’

Try as he may, Ben just couldn’t get his head around a woman rejecting her baby. ‘Don’t you want this baby, love this baby with every cell in your body?’

His words clawed at Katya’s soul. She didn’t expect him to understand her motivations. She cleared her throat. ‘This is not about me not loving the baby, Ben. Why do you think I couldn’t terminate the pregnancy? But I love it enough to know that I can’t look after it and that it’ll be better off without me.’

‘All this baby needs is for you to love it, Katya. Nothing else.’

He made it sound so simple. But she’d loved Sophia. And ultimately that hadn’t meant anything. It hadn’t stopped her getting hurt. Nearly dying. Being permanently scarred.

‘No, Ben, trust me, babies can’t live on love alone.’

Ben clenched his hands into fists. He was getting tired of her vague insinuations. He knew she wasn’t deliberately trying to frustrate him, that there was something deep down that she couldn’t share, that was too horrible for her to talk about. And he knew how that felt. How guilt and anger and circumstances in life could turn a person into someone they’d never thought they’d be.

‘What are your other options?’ he asked. ‘If I say no, what’s your plan B?’

Katya’s heart pounded in her chest. He wouldn’t. Would he? ‘Adoption.’

Ben felt as if she had slapped him. His head was filled with a mix of emotions all whizzing around, clashing into each other until he didn’t know how he felt any more. But he knew how he felt about this.

Would she seriously give his baby away to complete strangers? Not that he had a problem with adoption, but not for his baby.

‘Really?’ he asked.

She heard the incredulity in his voice. ‘It’s not my preferred option, Ben. But you have to understand — I can’t do this.’

Ben nodded slowly. Suddenly, he believed her. He got it. He really got it now. She was deadly serious. It was him or some stranger raising his child. He rejected it immediately, the traditionalist emerging again. This was his baby. His baby.

He couldn’t let anyone else raise it.

For some reason she really thought she couldn’t do it. Some reason that she couldn’t tell him about. It was frustrating but maybe she just needed a bit of time. Maybe the marriage would give her a different perspective?

He nodded slowly. ‘OK. I’ll do it. But only if you agree to marry me.’

Katya’s body rocked with a maelstrom of emotions. Ben had said yes. She had accomplished her goal. But at what cost? She knew everything he said made sense but if she married him, she’d be walking away not just from her