reaction to the tux and the hair, I guess I look like a thug the rest of the time?” I smirk, turning away from the mirror over my dresser.
Mom rolls her eyes. “Just different. You look like a movie star walking the red carpet at the Oscars right now. Charlotte’s a lucky girl.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I give myself one final look-over. Dark hair slicked back, face clean-shaven, the rest of me perfectly starched and pressed. I definitely look the part of one of the assholes who’ll be glad-handing at the event tonight. But, as much as I want to fit in with Charlotte’s life, I want to be with Charlotte. And if I have to wear this bullshit façade, to smile when I’d rather scream, to watch guys at this gala swing their dicks around to prove themselves, I’ll do it because she’s worth it.
I choose her.
It’s a startling reality, one I’ve been fighting for a while. I hated her for so long because I felt disregarded and abandoned when she left for London. I had been hanging on by a thread a couple of years ago, fighting between what was expected of me and what I really wanted, riding the line so I could have it all. When she got on that plane, the thread had been severed and I lost what I wanted most. I fell into an existence filled with darkness when I took my place in the family. There was no longer a lifeline.
I delivered for my father. I did my job. I eliminated threats. I protected what was ours.
And I was challenged every step of the way, beaten down for trying to establish myself, for trying to be taken seriously.
Damned if I do, damned if I didn’t.
I recognized the writing on the wall a long time ago. I knew if my family stood still and stayed complacent, other families would barrel in and wipe us out. I knew we were at risk of losing a lot...if not everything. And I worked hard to fight against our enemies. I gave up what I wanted and did what was expected.
For fucking what?
So my father can banish me from here, keeping me away from the one person who brings me peace in a world polluted with death, danger, and deceit?
I square my shoulders.
My mom thinks Charlotte is the lucky one.
But it’s really me.
I have a second chance at this...at making the life I want for myself.
With her.
I tried to fix the problems that seem to loom over my family like a goddamn black cloud. I tried to find the people responsible for stealing our livelihood. I tried to punish the guilty.
But I’m done with this shit.
Done with this life.
I manage a smile for my mother before gathering her in my arms for a tight hug. “I love you,” I murmur. “Thank you for everything.” I’ll miss my mother more than anything, but she can’t protect me anymore. It’s my time to step up, and if I fall, well, I’ll just fucking get back up again.
And again.
She gasps, a joyful smile on her face when she pulls away. She places a hand against my forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Why so sappy?” A hearty chuckle shakes her shoulders. “Oh, wait! You’re in love,” she whispers, dropping a kiss on the top of my nose. “I get it now!”
I shrug. “Do I have to be in love to let you know how much you mean to me?” I hold her hands. “I should have told you all the time, but I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Mom grins, cupping my chin in her hand. “I know how you feel about me, sweetie. I always know. Why do you think you’re my favorite?”
I snicker. “I don’t really have much competition there, do I?”
Mom laughs. “Keep it to yourself. If anyone asks, I’ll just deny it.”
“Deal,” I say, grabbing my keys and heading out of my bedroom.
“Just make sure you bring that beautiful girlfriend of yours over for a proper dinner soon, okay?” Mom calls out to me.
I turn around, the smile still caught on my face. “Soon,” I repeat.
Goddammit, I hate lying to her.
I run down the stairs after checking the time. I’m already ten minutes late. I hope the windbags we’re gonna be rubbing elbows with appreciate a fashionably late entrance at these things.
“Xander,” my father’s deep voice makes me cringe.
I grit my teeth and turn in his direction. “Dad, I’ve gotta go. Charlotte is waiting for me.”