The Princess and The Jester - A.D. McCammon Page 0,23

sting like a slap in the face. He blames me for what happened two years ago. I’ve borne his hate to protect him, believing he would’ve done the same for me. But that wasn’t anger, it was agony.

I blink at him, my heartbeat heavy as I reach out to him. “Cole, I—”

He grabs my arm, dragging me across the room. I spin as he jerks me, my back slamming against the door. His face is masked with anger, but his emerald eyes only reflect anguish.

“No. You don’t get to play the victim,” he spits. “You didn’t even tell your best friend about me. About us.”

He releases me and takes a step back. His chest heaves, nostrils flaring as he glares at me with contempt. Leaving this room would be the wisest thing for me to do right now. After his behavior, he doesn’t even deserve an explanation. But I push aside my fear and take a timid step forward, trying again to reach out for him.

“Don’t,” he barks.

Hugging myself, I heed his warning and move back. “I never told anyone.” More tears stream down my face at my hiccupped words, my body trembling as I struggle to hold myself together. “It was easier to ignore my pain without everyone knowing how much I was hurting.”

His dark laugh sends a chill down my spine. Cole learned to control his bad temper when we were kids, using humor to cope instead. It’s how he became known as the Jester. But everyone’s afraid of the rage lurking behind his laughter. Especially me.

“Forgive me, but I call bullshit. There’s a giant fucking hole in my chest where my heart should be, and you want to talk about how you were wounded?”

“Do you think I wanted this?” He raises an eyebrow at my sharp tone, and I curve it before continuing. “I didn’t want to lose you. You were my every—”

My words stop short as Cole rushes me, grabbing my neck. His thumb presses on my pulse before he forces my head back, confusion wrinkling his features as he studies my face. Some part of him knows I’m being sincere. He just can’t accept it.

“You want me to believe you? Here’s your chance. No more lies, Princess. Tell me why you did it.”

If only he knew how badly I want to reveal the truth—to release myself from the weight of this secret. But there’s no escaping hell; I’d merely be dragging him down with me. If that happens, all of this will have been for nothing.

My eyelids fall, my answer a whispered breath when I say, “I can’t.”

His grip tightens. “Open your eyes.” I take a deep breath and follow his command. “Can’t or won’t?”

“What’s the difference?”

He huffs, his eyes narrowing as he grits out his reply. “One implies you have a choice. The other implies the choice was taken from you. So, which is it?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He lets me go with a groan, and I wipe the moisture from my face. “Knowing wouldn’t fix anything. You can’t change the past.”

“No more than you can erase it, but it hasn’t stopped you from trying.”

My heart sinks as he turns his back to me and walks away. “Cole, I didn’t—”

“Just go!”

I jump at his harsh tone and quickly leave the room, not slowing down until I’m back in the safety of my bedroom.

Once I’m locked inside, the adrenaline begins to leave my body and exhaustion sets in. I’ve never been so thoroughly depleted before. This weekend has officially drained me of all life. There’s nothing left in me. Even the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that have been plaguing me over the past couple of days have powered down. It takes all my effort just to make it over to the bed.

Not long after my head hits the pillow and my mind starts to drift, the unmistakable squeak of my bedroom door opening startles me. My eyes pop open, but my head feels too heavy to lift.

“Cole?”

I know it’s him, but I’m not afraid. The familiarity of it brings me peace. Contentment. Something I haven’t felt since he left this house two years ago.

The bed dips beside me as he crawls under the covers. “You didn’t think a locked door would keep me away from you, did you?” His arm wraps around my waist, his body spooning mine.

I sigh and relax into him, my eyelids falling as sleep begins to pull me under again. “Is this real?”

His heavy breath brushes through my hair, his arm snaking