Prima - Alta Hensley

1

Clara

Ballet is like dreaming on your feet.

But when the dancing stops, the nightmare begins.

I knew this better than anyone.

Marilyn Monroe once said if you give a girl the right shoes, then she can take over the world. But what happens when those shoes are stripped away from you? What are you left with then?

Stepping outside, I swayed a bit, my gait a little unsteady as I headed toward my mailbox. The sunlight was so bright it stung my eyes, which were already aching from not sleeping through the night yet again. Insomnia had kept me up until dawn and the few hours I’d managed were definitely not enough.

I slanted my hand against my forehead to provide a modicum of shadow while I moved my aching body across the lawn. If I were being honest, this gesture wasn’t because of that. It was to block out the rest of the world from seeing me too. It had been four years, and yet it was as if I feared some photographer who didn’t give a shit about anything but snapping “that picture” in order to sell it to some sleazy tabloid would jump out from the bushes at any moment.

I thought back to the person I once was. The renowned, beautiful, and very much sought-after prima ballerina whom everyone wanted.

Wanted to feature a photo of me in midair, arms arced gracefully over my head, legs extended, toes pointed in a perfect grande jeté on the cover of their glossy magazines.

Wanted to be able to name drop me as an attendee for their A-list parties.

Wanted to escort me on their arm like the ballet’s version of a trophy wife.

Wanted. I was wanted.

But now, ever since I’d stepped out of that spotlight focused on center stage — for which I only had myself to blame — I didn’t want anyone to even glance my way.

I used to love all eyes on me, the thunderous applause, the long-lasting standing ovations, the dozens of roses heaped into my arms after every performance, the male attention. I no longer desired any of that. I wanted to lock myself away, to hide from the rest of the world, and to not be seen by anyone.

As the mailbox swung open, I moaned, and my heart sank as I spotted the thick pile of unpaid bills. I used to have money to burn. Now — after years of teaching students who would never be stars in anyone’s but their parents’ eyes no matter how hard they practiced — the balance in my account was dangerously close to zero. With the current economy, people were tightening their belts regardless of how much they doted on their precious babies, and dance lessons were often the first extracurricular activity to be struck from their budget. Perhaps if I’d opened a real school, or if I’d capitalized on my reputation, I would still live like a princess.

But I’d not had that choice. The few classes I taught out of my garage-slash-studio were barely enough to keep me going.

It was a shame my lavish lifestyle had been reduced to such a mediocre one, but this was exactly what I deserved for allowing myself to get into such a fucked-up mess to begin with.

Becoming aware of the sound of a car’s engine growing louder, getting closer — too close to be going anywhere else other than my house, which was situated at the end of a cul-de-sac — I spun around and crossed my arms in annoyance. Everyone who knew me well was more than aware they needed to contact me in advance before showing up. Even with my finances in the toilet, the first thing I’d impressed on my clients was never to show up unannounced. I couldn’t imagine who had dared to breach that hard and steadfast rule.

As the car pulled to a stop, I leaned in a little to take in the dark hair of the driver who was effectively blocking my driveway. Two things instantly caught my attention and caused my heart to skip a beat.

One — he was most definitely not a client.

Two — he was incredibly attractive.

A weird frisson of electricity coursed through my veins as I observed the way he filled out his suit as he climbed from the car and moved around its hood to approach me.

When I lost everything, I also lost a part of myself. I’d actively gone out to screw around as much as possible. I’d wanted to forget all the angst, push away all the