The Priest (The Original Sinners #9) - Tiffany Reisz Page 0,121
fear talking, fear of you getting named in a scandal like this. And I couldn’t take my own advice. I told Cyrus to assume the worst, and then I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
“It’s not that,” she said. “You made very good points. Under other circumstances, you might have been right. That’s not why I’m leaving. I’m leaving because I want to.”
S?ren rose from the piano bench and walked to the window. He rested his hand on the sill, one hand on his hip, the very picture of deepest contemplation.
“Don’t do this to me,” he said softly.
“I’m not doing it to you. I’m doing it for me.”
“How is leaving our church good for you? The Catholic Church is its people, its sacraments, not its priests.”
“I’ll miss the sacraments, too. But sacredness is everywhere. I’m going to look for it, and I’m going to find it.”
“Is this because you’re angry at me? Or angry at God?”
“Neither. It has nothing to do with you.” Nora had to make him understand. “I love her, you know.”
“Who? Your new witch friend?”
“God.”
He turned, met her eyes.
“Even you, the most liberal Catholic priest I know,” she said, “can’t wrap your mind around God being a ‘her.’”
“That is incredibly unfair, Eleanor.”
“Tell it to all the women throughout history who have been treated like second-class citizens in the Church, all because it was ‘Our Father.’ All because Jesus had a dick. The Church only likes Mary because she was a virgin.” Nora braced herself, then delivered her knock-out blow. “How many Catholic women we know would have made a better priest than Father Murran? Most of them?”
The blow landed. S?ren lowered his head. He raised it again, a man defeated by a worthy adversary.
“If you turn into a witch,” he said, “I’m not going to be pleased.”
“Oh, shove it, warlock,” she said. “You turn wine into God’s blood. You have no room to talk.”
“Do you know what ‘warlock’ means?”
“Evil wizard?”
“Oath-breaker,” he said. “Vow breaker.”
She waited. He had his own news to share.
“If I do go back,” he began. Then, “Cyrus said something to me about the married men he catches cheating. How if they can’t keep their vows, they don’t get to keep their wife.”
“The Church’s rules are antiquated and wrong,” she said.
“But they are the rules. And if I do go back…”
He didn’t have to finish the sentence. She knew. If he went back, he would keep his vows.
She reached out, stroked his face again, and the beard that protected him from seeing his father’s face in the mirror.
“I hope the next present is very good,” he said.
“I think you’ll like it.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of handcuffs and presented them to him as if they were a priceless jewel.
“Handcuffs? I have my own.”
“These are new handcuffs, unmarked, straight from my own dungeon. I know King gave you the engraved ones, but I thought you might want to get rid of those. Considering.”
“Considering they’re a reminder of a very unpleasant chapter in our life?”
“Boner-killer, right?”
“Precisely.”
He held the handcuffs in his hand, studying them almost as if he’d never seen handcuffs before.
“S?ren?”
“A cat and handcuffs. Two very good gifts. I should give you something in return.”
“Like what?”
“Like this.” He held out the handcuffs to her, and she took them back. Then he did the last thing she ever expected him to do. He held out his hands for her to cuff.
“You are shitting me.”
“You said you dream about it.”
“Everyone who’s seen you has dreamed about it. But you know I can’t top you. It won’t work.” They’d tried sex without him hurting her one night when he’d woken up hard. They’d managed it for about a minute before he’d lost his erection. Vanilla sex wasn’t for them, but he wasn’t talking about vanilla sex. He was giving her permission to top him.
“It might. We’ve never tried.”
“Just when I think I have you figured out…”
“You will never have me figured out.”
“This is crazy. Absolutely crazy. I can’t—”
“Nervous? Scared?”
“You think?” Even as she protested, she clutched the handcuffs in her grip, holding them like a child with a favorite toy that might get taken away any second.
“When I was in your dungeon, it occurred to me, there’s an entire side of you I’ve never truly experienced. A very important side of you.”
She exhaled heavily, suddenly shaky, nervous as a virgin. “It’s incredibly…generous? Let’s go with that. Incredibly generous—and brave—of you to offer. But I really don’t think it’s gonna work.”