Price of a Bounty - By S. L. Wallace Page 0,51

eat. I needed a place to stay.”

I looked at Guy. “I’d really rather not talk about that.” He remained silent, but I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t going to let me off the hook. Why did he want me to talk about it, to remember? Maybe I really did need to look back before I could move forward. Guy didn’t seem to be judging me, not yet anyway, but what would happen when he learned the whole truth? He already knew a little about my past, but to share all of it, to say it out loud after I’d tried so hard to forget. Would that change things between us?

I took a deep breath and continued, “A few of the men I stayed with, they hurt me, badly. I tried to drown it out with cheap alcohol. If drugs weren’t so expensive, I may have tried them too. Within only a few weeks, I hit my breaking point. I almost ended it.” I rubbed my wrist.

“But then I thought about April, and I knew I just couldn’t, and I couldn’t lose myself to the streets either. I had to fight back. It was the only way I would be able to help April when her turn came.” Guy still hadn’t looked away.

Now that I had started, I needed to continue, to finish this. “It was revenge at first. I hurt them as badly as they had hurt me, and I left physical signs. I wanted others to be able to see who these men were on the inside. I earned a reputation that’s kept me safe, both me and April. No one on our end of town will hurt her, and even though I knew what kind of a man Lance Beckett was, I never thought he would, at least not without April telling me or fighting back. Guy, why didn’t she fight back?”

He shifted his arm and pulled me closer.

“I messed up, didn’t I? I didn’t teach her enough. I should have taught her how to fight so that she could when I wasn’t around to protect her.” I began to cry.

Guy leaned down and whispered, “I know who you are. You’re a fighter, a survivor. You’re also a protector.”

I shook my head, my thoughts still in the past. “I began hurting people as a way to survive, but then killing became a way to make a living. It’s become routine. Now I don’t feel anything at all when I’m on a job.” I looked at him. “I would have killed you too, you know, if Elaine Ramsey hadn’t slipped up. I would have killed you and not wasted another thought on it. I’m so sorry.”

“Keira, who do you want to be?”

I took another deep breath. “I want to be more like you, I guess, and more like Scott, but I’m afraid for him.”

“Why?”

“Scott sold out by joining the military. I really believe that. But his heart is in the right place. If the Gov ever learns what he’s doing on the side, he’ll be court martialed and executed. You know that, right?”

“For Scott, it was far more dangerous in the early days, when he didn’t have the rank or the support that he has today, but he’s brave, like you. He believed it was worth it, and he knew the risks when we started this. We both did.”

“What about you?” I asked him. “I can’t figure you out. You have everything: wealth, social standing. Why do you risk it?”

“Because I know who I am, and I’m being true to myself.”

“And who are you, Guy Bensen?”

“I already told you. I’m a Guide. Right now, I’m your guide. So what do you think? Have we figured you out?”

“You mean, am I willing to risk it all for the Resistance?”

“I mean are you willing to work for the common good?”

I paused, then said, “Yes, but I’m doing this for more than just the Resistance.”

“Why then?”

“I want to make up for past mistakes . I can’t promise I won’t kill again. I know I have it in me, and if I’m cornered I may have to. And I would kill to protect, but I’ll try not to let it get to that point. I’ll try to find alternatives.”

Guy smiled.

“Who do you want me to be?”

Guy stood and pulled me to my feet. “Keira, that is the wrong question. My opinion shouldn’t matter.”

“But it does matter to me. I’ve been on my own for so long, watching out just for