between my thighs. I nearly choke on my water, and he grins, telling me I should be more careful.
“Well, I think it’s a great idea.” Mom adds another heaping of vegetables to his plate. “You deserve a break. And anyone who pretends to have it all figured out at eighteen is only kidding themselves.”
Landon toys with me through the thin cotton fabric of my underwear, rubbing his fingers against the wetness that’s already gathered there. My face feels hot, and I’m convinced everyone can see me about to lose it. Then to my dismay, he drags his hand away and goes about eating his dinner with an infuriating smirk that tells me he’s quite pleased with himself.
I slip my hand beneath the table and slowly graze the length of his thigh until my fingers are brushing over the warm, hard bulge in his jeans. Landon pauses mid-chew to look over at me with smoldering eyes, but I turn my attention away from him as Theo speaks.
“What about you, Kail? Any thoughts on choosing a college yet?”
“I don’t know.” I squeeze Landon’s jean clad erection in my grasp and smile when he reaches beneath the table to pry me off. He isn’t the only one who can play dirty. “Maybe I’ll be a rebel and take a gap year too.”
It’s a lie because I do know what I want, but I’m not brave enough to say it out loud just yet. Regardless, my mom nods along in agreement. She isn’t the sort to pressure me into having everything mapped out right now. She had me when she was only eighteen and went to school later, so she’s okay with me taking some time to figure out who I am. But the truth is, my dream is a simple one. Sometimes, I think, maybe too simple. It’s hard not to feel pressure when most of my classmates will do huge things with their lives. It’s no secret that BMA churns out record numbers of elite professionals. But I just want to teach the thing I’m passionate about. I want to open a dance studio of my own.
“I have a hunch Kail’s going to do what she loves best,” Mom says. “But no pressure. Whatever you decide, we will support your dream.”
“Thanks, Mama.” I beam, but it’s hard not to miss the sadness in Landon’s eyes.
I know I’m lucky to have a mother who would love me no matter what I choose to be. She’s proud of me for the little things, and not everyone has that. It makes me think of Courtney and the fact that her parents are always pressuring her to be what they want. They are really hard on her, and I think that’s why she acts as though she just doesn’t care about anything.
I’ve been a shitty friend to her, and I need to fix that. But I also need to figure out what’s going on with Landon and his mom because I’m sensing things aren’t okay in that department either. Not that it’s any of my business.
“Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Grant.” Landon takes his plate and mine to the sink. “It was amazing, like always.”
“I’m just glad you could be here.” My mom joins him in the kitchen and envelops him in a hug, which seems to catch him off guard. The tiny woman clinging to his huge frame would be almost comical if it weren’t for the frozen expression on his face as his arms hang limply at his sides. It’s the strangest reaction. Doesn’t his mom ever hug him?
“I have some homework to do.” He extricates himself from her arms and prepares to make a quick escape. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After he leaves, I’m still thinking about the incident as I help my mom wash the pots and pans. I haven’t done it in a while because I was so busy planning everyone else’s destruction. But it feels good to have this familiar routine. Almost like things are getting back to normal somehow. The only thing that’s changed is me.
“Do you think it bothers Landon’s mom that he’s over here all the time?” I ask as she hands me a pan to dry.
My mom scrubs a spatula for way too long, her eyes shining with sadness. She definitely knows more than she’s let onto.
“I’m not really sure, honey.”
“Is there something you aren’t telling me?” I turn to study her, hoping I can get her to open up.