Pretty Sweet - Christina Lee Page 0,95
Except I was an adult, this was my house, and he was long gone, thank fuck.
So I plucked him from my brain and squatted down on the blanket across from her, feeling slightly better already because this was our thing. The way we’d reconnect. I handed her a sandwich, then unwrapped mine, and as soon as I smelled the turkey-bacon combination, I realized how famished I was.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Mom said after taking a bite of her chicken-salad sandwich. “Seth is acting strange too, so I figured something happened.”
My eyes snapped to hers. “You spoke to him? Is he okay?”
She patted my knee. “He was doing a makeup class at Rose City. He had several eager residents signed up, so we didn’t talk long. But he looked like he’d been put through the wringer too.”
“His mom showed up unexpectedly this weekend, and they haven’t always had the best relationship.”
“I know that much, at least, and I hope they finally found some common ground.” She picked at her bread as she pondered that information. “Is that all of it?”
“No.” My shoulders dropped. “I…messed up.”
“Oh, honey.” She forked her fingers through my hair, and I wanted to draw back because I was sweaty and probably smelled. But this was my mom, and I also desperately wanted to be taken care of this one time. Stupid, I knew. “What do you mean?”
“I went to the bar to see him perform, which was great.” I huffed. “But there was this guy who kept hanging around the stage.” I didn’t mention the man being hauled out when I arrived, because why dredge up that memory again.
“Did the man have too much to drink?” she asked, and when I nodded, her features transformed to concern. It was a hot-button issue for both of us, given our history. “And?”
“At the end of the night he cornered Seth as he was on his way to meet me at the bar, and I could tell Seth was uncomfortable.” I wrapped what was left of my sandwich, my appetite gone. “And when he gripped Seth’s arm, I lost it.”
She winced. “What did you do?”
“I grabbed the guy and had some words about consent and stuff,” I explained, looking away as mortification lined my cheeks again. “Seth got upset with me because…well, because…”
“Because he needs to fight his own battles?” she said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Yet complicated as hell given what we’d gone through.
“Yeah.” I blew out a breath. “Even after he tried signaling for me to back away, I didn’t listen. I just reacted.”
She squeezed my hand. “Because you wanted to protect him.”
“Yeah. But that’s not always the right decision, not when it’s something he’s working on.” I glanced at her, my cheeks still burning. “That how you feel…about me?”
She huffed out a breath and linked our fingers together. “Honey, I know your childhood wasn’t easy. And it was my fault for not leaving your father sooner.”
“No, Ma, don’t do that,” I pleaded, needing her to understand that I didn’t blame her. “Dad was manipulative and terrifying, and I don’t think you should start playing the what-if game.”
Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “You had to grow up way too fast.”
“I did, but it wasn’t all bad,” I replied, thinking of all the special moments that might not have happened had things been different. Life was strange like that. “Carpet picnics, for example,” I pointed out, and Mom’s eyes softened. “I think it made us closer, and I’ll always be grateful for that. You’re my best friend.”
“And you’re mine,” she said with a watery smile. “But I need to be a parent too, to you, not the other way around.” When she gave me a sharp look, I sighed, understanding exactly what she meant.
“I dunno. I told myself I would never let that happen again to someone I love.”
“And you love Seth; that’s why you stepped in.”
“I do. I love him,” I admitted. “And I want to be with him and build something solid.” My chest ached with so much longing, I thought it might explode. “But if he doesn’t feel comfortable around me…”
“Honey, he’s not afraid of you.” She cupped my face, forcing me to look at her. “He’s afraid of himself. If he’s anything like me, he wants so badly to be brave and courageous. He just needs the chance.”
“And I took the chance away from him.” Suddenly everything started lining up in my head like the pieces of