I don’t know. Because she’s controlling and it’s safe. She picked my car and my apartment and decided what I’m going to school for, and I just…I need to do this.”
There was a short pause before Jesse said, “Let’s go car shopping, then. It’s a date.”
I knew he would be supportive. “I’ll pick you up.”
I grabbed my baseball cap and put it on before getting all the paperwork I might need. This was probably something I should do with Jake since he was a mechanic and all, but I thought I might burst out of my skin if I didn’t do it today! Or change my mind. Which was ridiculous.
Jesse was waiting for me outside his apartment when I pulled up. He jogged over and jumped into the passenger seat. “Dane says hi, and I say tell me what the fuck is going on. Stat.”
I wanted to, God, I wanted to tell him so badly. Jesse had told me so many sex stories, and I’d soaked them in, wanted more, but this with Jake was different. No one knew he was bi, and I didn’t know if he wanted to come out, and—
“Holy fuck. You’re blushing. What in the hell did I miss? Did you and Jake…”
“What?” I asked as I pulled away. “What makes you think this has anything to do with Jake?”
“Because I know you? And he looks at you like he wants to jump your bones?”
I laughed. I wanted to jump his too. “I can’t. Not yet.” I had to respect Jake’s privacy, but God, I wanted to blurt out everything we’d done the night before.
“Sure. I can respect that, but whatever is happening, don’t ever let anyone keep you a secret if you don’t want to be a secret, okay? That’s all I’ll say. You deserve the world, Seth, and there were so many times I wished I could have been the one to give it to you. We both know that wouldn’t have worked, so yeah, you deserve the world, and don’t ever accept anything less.” He reached over and put his hand on my thigh. My eyes felt slightly misty.
“If there was a guy…and I’m not saying there is…he wouldn’t be the type to hurt me like that. Even if we were a secret for a while, it wouldn’t be for the reasons you think. He would be the sweetest guy I’d ever met and just want me to be happy.” That was Jake.
“Wait. So it’s me?” Jesse teased.
“Oh, shut up.” Then, “I love you,” because I did. I was so thankful I had Jesse in my life.
“I love you too. I totally can’t wait to double-date with you and Jake!”
“Oh my God! Shut up!” And we both laughed.
At the car dealership, I traded in my vehicle and bought myself a yellow Mini Cooper.
I felt like I could fly.
20
Jake
It was Sunday, the auto shop was closed, and I was with Tucker, helping move some shit out of his parents’ basement to the front lawn for trash. His dad had a heart condition, which was one of the reasons he’d asked Tucker to take over the business a couple of years ago. He and his family had always been there for me, so it was a no-brainer that I would help with a project like this, as tedious as it was, when Tucker needed an extra pair of hands.
After I’d caught up with his dad, and his mom stuffed us with the cookies she’d baked—just like old times—we headed downstairs and started going through boxes essentially filled with outdated appliances and junk. The good thing about my smaller house was that I didn’t acquire many things, but what the hell did I know; this was a whole lifetime of stuff. I might be in a similar position someday.
When my cell buzzed in my pocket, I pulled it out to read a text from Seth. I hadn’t seen him since Friday night when he’d slept over, which had been… I didn’t even know how to describe it. Fucking incredible? Deeply satisfying in a way hookups over the years had never been? Yeah, that. Not that I was ever looking to spend time with someone like that; it simply happened. My skin heated just thinking about it. I was trying to take it slow for both our sakes, but damn, I couldn’t wait to see him again.