sure your parents won’t care you’re having me over when they’re not home?”
“Nah, they won’t care. They know you’re a goodie.” He laughed, and I felt the sting of embarrassment. “Now if it were my friends, they’d think we’d throw a party or something, but my parents probably wish I hung out with you more.”
He unlocked the door, then threw a perfect smile over his shoulder at me. It made my heart speed up, and his previous comment faded away. My limbs were tingly, and I wondered why he was inviting me over. Why he wanted to hang out with me. He couldn’t really like me back, could he? But I was there, and that had to mean something, which made me soar.
“Let’s go up to my room.”
“Oh…okay.” Nerves tickled at the base of my spine, but I tried to ignore the apprehension. Why was it a big deal that Colton was asking me to his room? I liked him and wanted to be around him, but there was something more twisting me up inside too.
When we got there, he closed the door. “Take your shoes off and sit on the bed,” he told me, and I did. He had two chairs in his room and a TV. I noticed he didn’t say, “Have a seat.” He told me where he wanted me, and I went, but I was starting to feel even more uneasy. He stepped out of his sneakers and sat beside me. “You like me, don’t you?” he asked, and I whipped my head toward him.
“I…um…”
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. We can keep each other’s secrets, right?”
I nodded, not sure what secrets he had for me to keep.
“Bet you want me to kiss you,” Colton added.
My pulse jumped, whether in nerves or excitement, I didn’t know. Maybe a combination of both. I did want him to kiss me—duh, how could I not?—but I was scared too. The guys at school talked about all the girls they slept with all the time, and I wasn’t ready for that, but I wanted something. Wanted him. Wanted to feel wanted. To feel loved.
Colton leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I was giddy for a moment, felt this sort of high because I was there and this boy was kissing me, making me feel loved. I knew thinking that way was stupid, but I couldn’t help it. My first kiss!
Then he was pushing me back on the bed so I was lying down. “I don’t want…”
“I’m just gonna kiss you like this.”
He kept going, and I forgot to be nervous because kissing felt good.
Colton sat up. “Here, let’s get this off.” He went for my shirt, and I let him. When he reached for my jeans, I put a shaky hand over his, the word no echoing through my head. “Come on, Seth. I thought you liked me.” I did like him. I liked him a lot. I wanted to kiss him, but maybe I should want more if I liked him?
I didn’t say anything and dropped my hand away. Blood was rushing through my ears, my heart slamming against my chest, this loud echo drowning out everything else.
Colton took off my clothes, then his own. I was shaking, too scared to enjoy the view, knowing I liked him and so that meant I should be ready for this. If I didn’t, he wouldn’t like me anymore.
He flipped me roughly, and my body went rigid. I was lying on my stomach, naked and screaming inside because this was too much too fast.
“What’s the problem? I assumed you wanted to be here with me.”
No, no, no, no! screamed through my head, this loud voice that didn’t feel like mine and couldn’t find its way from my brain to my mouth, but when I felt his hand on my ass, it suddenly did. “No.”
He sighed. “You came up here with me. You knew I’d want this.” Colton sat on the bed, close to my head. He put his hand on my nape and nudged my face toward his erection. “Then just do me a favor. It’s not a big deal.” With his other hand he angled his cock toward my lips.
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. I’ll take care of you. Come on. If you like me, you’ll do it. Just start by kissing it.”
I kept my mouth closed, shook my head, but didn’t push away. He kept talking, kept asking me, and I didn’t say no again, but I didn’t do it.