‘Whoops, whoa, sorry,’ Joshua says, before swearing under his breath once we pass. I catch a whiff of his nervousness. Normally I’m so consumed by my own nerves that my date could be bleeding from the eyeballs and I wouldn’t notice, but, tonight, I can sense his anxiety bubbling. A jolt of power crackles through me. Again, a totally novel experience on a first date. ‘Sit, sit.’ He gestures to a chair. ‘I didn’t order you a drink because I had no idea what you’d like. But I can make eye contact with the waitress for you.’
‘Umm, shouldn’t it be me you’re making eye contact with on a first date?’ I settle myself in my chair, enjoying the way his gaze subtly registers my appearance. ‘I don’t want to be competing with the waitress.’ We both laugh at the same time, though I can see the joke has thrown him off-kilter. So I lean in and look up at him through my eyelashes. ‘A bottle of beer would be great to start with, thanks,’ I say. ‘And I’m rubbish at getting attention from waiting staff, so please do the honours.’
His ego soothed, Joshua’s shoulders loosen. He takes pride in beckoning the lady over and ordering me a Corona and lime even though April doesn’t really like beer.
My drink arrives, just as Joshua and I finish filling each other in on the thrilling details of our journeys here.
‘Oh, yes, the Jubilee line really is weirdly exciting and grown up, isn’t it?’
‘Oh, so you can walk from Blackfriars? That’s useful.’
‘One Corona.’ The waitress bends and places it on the table between us.
‘Cheers.’ I pick it up and take a swig, trying not to pull a face. ‘Sorry, it’s terribly undignified to order beer on a first date, isn’t it?’ I place the bottle back down. ‘It’s just so hot today. I promise I’ll be sophisticated and order red wine later.’
Josh laughs again. ‘Are you one of those people who understand wine?’
Always make them feel at ease, Gretel’s voice whispers to me, so they associate feeling at ease with being around you.
I shake my head. ‘No. Are you?’
He shakes his head too.
But don’t hand yourself over on a plate; make him feel mildly uncomfortable so he knows he doesn’t certainly have you.
‘Good,’ I say. ‘Because if you are one of those people who actually knows what to do in a restaurant when they make you try the wine, then I don’t think it’s going to work between us.’
Another hearty laugh. I’ve never made a man laugh this much so quickly on a first date.
Ask them lots of open-ended questions about themselves.
I gulp down another mouthful of beer. ‘So, Mount Kilimanjaro then?’
That’s all I need to say. I don’t even have to explain why I’m bringing it up, or remind him he put it as a picture on his app. His face lights up with the opportunity to talk about it. ‘Yes, it was completely amazing. I’m still buzzing, I swear, even though it was over six months ago … so we camped in this beautiful place called … most challenging thing I’ve ever done, you learn so much about yourself … got the bug now, planning the next one … the important thing is that you have to train, you can’t skimp on the training … altitude sickness is the worst of course.’
I prompt his monologue with the occasional ‘wow’ and ‘why?’ so we have a deep emotional connection, but mostly use the time to take in Joshua’s appearance. He is neither good-looking nor bad-looking, I decide. He is neutral-looking, like Switzerland. He just looks like ‘a bloke’. Definitely one of those faces that you need a slight emotional connection with before you want to rip his clothes off. Then, once all those problematic bonding hormones flood in, I can imagine the mole by his lip would be magical, and his eyes, green, well that’s unusual enough to find riveting once your unmet childhood needs make him an attachment figure to glue yourself to.
‘Yeah, so three peaks next … as an amuse bouche … hahahahaha …’ He’s made enough of an effort with his appearance. The grey of his shirt suits him and brings out his eyes. I imagine a past girlfriend told him that information and he’s clung to it ever since. The shirt settles well around his normal body, toned enough by the mountain-hiking side of him, but he definitely isn’t a gym-goer – he would’ve mentioned protein by now if