The Preacher's Son - Juliette Duncan Page 0,5
I watched the ten-minute video that gave a brief rundown of the project, I couldn’t help growing interested in spite of myself. The organisation was doing some great work and I could see why Hayden would want to consider the opportunity.
When the narrator talked about the problems faced by the people in the favelas, I grew enraged at the injustice. I was a lawyer, after all, and upholding justice was precisely what I did every day. Working as a defence lawyer for youth offenders, I knew instinctively that I would be a great asset at Safe Hands, but something still held me back.
After the video finished, a young woman who’d recently been baptised came to the front of the church and gave her testimony, and afterwards Michael gave a short sermon on The Good Samaritan. I almost felt as though God was challenging me. I’ve shown you the need, Penny...are you going to walk on by or are you going to use the talents I gave you? Which simply wasn’t fair. My whole life was devoted to helping others. Admittedly, I was paid well for it, but it still took a lot out of me and I gave my job my all. I had my volunteering, as well. Surely, I did enough?
But even as I inwardly protested, I knew deep down that my resistance had nothing to do with any of that. I was already intrigued by the plight of the youths in Brazil and how they could be empowered to overcome the challenges they faced.
This wasn’t about whether or not I did enough for others. This was about me and Hayden and the fears that had been long suppressed that I didn’t quite know how to articulate.
I barely paid attention through the final hymn and the closing prayers, and when the service was over, I hurried off to fetch Elijah and Rosie. When I returned with the children, Hayden was talking animatedly to both Sheila and Michael. I groaned.
“So, what did you think, Penny?” Sheila asked excitedly when I joined them. “Wouldn’t this be the perfect opportunity for you and Hayden? It’s almost as though it’s been created for you both!”
Please don’t say that, I begged inwardly, but it was too late. Hayden was already nodding eagerly, although I saw doubt in his eyes when he glanced at me. I smiled tightly, not wanting to say how I really felt in front of the pastor and his wife. “It’s certainly something we can talk about,” I said in what was intended to be a neutral tone, but then I saw the hope flare in Hayden's eyes. He really wanted to go… My heart clenched.
“Are you staying for tea?” Michael asked.
I shook my head before Hayden could answer. “I’m in court tomorrow, so I have some preparation to do.” It wasn’t a lie, but I still felt guilty as I said it. My need to get away wasn’t work related, not really. I wanted to leave before I got talked into signing three weeks of my life away.
On the drive home, the kids chattered merrily, which was just as well because Hayden and I hardly spoke. At home I busied myself with lunch, and then spent most of the afternoon preparing for the next day. It was only after Elijah and Rosie had gone to sleep in the early evening and I was sitting on the porch enjoying the sunset that the subject finally was raised.
Hayden came out carrying two glasses of iced tea and sat on the large wicker chair next to me. “You’re avoiding me,” he said bluntly. “You have been since church. It’s because of the trip, isn’t it?” He sounded sad, and guilt swept through me again.
Why couldn’t I just get on board with it? I wasn’t exactly sure what was holding me back. “You want to go, don’t you?” I said, still staring at the streaks of golden pink across the horizon. Even from the corner of my eye I saw Hayden nod his answer.
“Yes, of course. Why? Don’t you? It sounds like an amazing trip, a chance for both of us to use our skills and make a real difference. Not that you don’t already,” he added quickly, pre-empting my retort. “And Brazil is somewhere we’ve spoken about traveling to before.”
“For a holiday,” I answered, more snappy than I’d meant to. “What’s the point in taking a break just to work more? And we can’t just leave the kids.”
“They were going to stay with