The Preacher's Son - Juliette Duncan Page 0,2

heard you say something about not forgetting, but it was too late now. I wondered if he’d brought up wanting you to go into ministry again.”

During a brief and loaded silence, my heart thudded. We hadn’t discussed Hayden’s earlier plans to become a preacher in a long time. It was only in that moment that I realised how close to the surface the topic still bubbled.

“He did mention it. He was just reminding me there was still time.”

I stared at him as shadows fell on his face, and I saw the sad expression in his eyes. “Hayden…” My voice was soft as I leaned on my elbow and voiced something I’d asked myself many times over the years. “Do you ever regret leaving college to be with me?”

His eyes enlarged. “Of course not! I love our life, Pen, and I love you. God sent me a sign, remember?” He pressed his lips to my forehead.

Remembering the sign Hayden had received, a smile grew on my lips. Although we’d fallen in love, Hayden left and went to college, but he was deeply conflicted. While there, he received unexpected advice from a wise stranger in the canteen, a stranger who had never been seen in the college before or since. Hayden was certain he’d been visited by an angel and decided to follow his heart. I didn’t know if I believed in angel visitations, but whatever happened that day, I thanked God for it, because it brought Hayden back to me. “I do remember,” I whispered. Straightening, I took his hand and drew circles on it. “It’s just sometimes I worry that construction isn’t enough for you. You were raised with the expectation of following in your father’s footsteps.”

“I was,” he said with a sigh, “and I thought my path was all mapped out for me. But God had other plans. I enjoy my job, Penny, and I love how much time I get with the children. A lot of men miss out on that.”

I nodded, even as the usual twinge of mother-guilt about the long hours I worked niggled at my heart. I’d taken extended maternity leave after having the children, and although I’d looked forward to returning to work, I’d also missed them terribly when I did. Perhaps that was the source of my restlessness.

I should have left the subject alone instead of picking at it like a wound that needed more time to heal, but suddenly I needed to know the answer. “But be honest,” I pressed. “If I was prepared to work less hours so you could go for ministry training, would you want to go?”

When he didn’t answer immediately and a pregnant silence fell upon the room, my heart sank.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “That’s my honest answer. Dad was always so convinced that some kind of career in the church was my destiny that I suppose that sunk in.” He paused and took a slow breath. “I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like, but I’m not sure that if I had the chance to go now, I would want to. Maybe. But anyway, I can’t see you as a preacher’s wife.” He chuckled and I knew he was joking and trying to lighten the mood, but his words were so close to echoing my thoughts just a few moments before that I couldn’t laugh.

He stroked my face and his touch soothed me as it always did. “Penny, I love you,” he murmured, gazing into my eyes. “That’s one thing I know for certain. The other is that God knows the right path for us.”

But what if God’s path wasn’t the same as my path? What if I truly was holding Hayden back? I didn’t like the uncertainty that was suddenly filling me.

“What is it?” he asked.

I shook my head, not understanding, myself, what I was feeling. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling restless lately. More anxious than usual. I don’t know why, because our life together is wonderful.”

I expected Hayden to look surprised or even concerned, but instead he nodded as though he understood. “Oddly enough, so have I. Just the last few months or so, it’s as if things are ripe for a change. But then I feel I’m being ungrateful when we’ve been given so much. I figured it was just some pre-midlife crisis.” He laughed, and I laughed with him, but the uneasiness didn’t go away.

We kissed lightly and then he fell asleep while I lay awake, staring into