Power Plays & Straight A's - Eden Finley Page 0,46
me hits again, and I remind myself that’s not the case anymore. Now Seth can resume being my best friend and have his own life instead of worrying about checking in on me.
Except … how can we be best friends when I haven’t told him the biggest thing going on in my life? Won’t he feel betrayed if I lose my virginity to Foster and haven’t told him?
I scramble to pull out my phone and call him.
“Hey, it’s about damn time.”
“I’m having sex with Foster,” I blurt.
There’s a choking sound on the other end. “Right now?”
“Of course not.”
“Thank God. I was about to point out a little thing called boundaries. Instead, let’s talk tense. I will be having sex with Fost—argh. No. Did I really almost say that? Why are we having this conversation?”
I laugh and fall against the wall a little down from the office. “I don’t know. I thought it would be polite to inform you.”
“Foster beat you to it. Though why either of you think I want to know about his sex life …”
“H-he did?”
Seth hums. “Umm … Zach?”
“Yes?”
“This conversation isn’t one I ever want to have again, but I’ve gotta ask. Are you sure? Do you really want your first time to be with him?”
“I … Yes.”
There’s a pause. “Just … yes? No reasons?”
“The reasons aren’t your concern.”
He scoffs. “Real nice.”
“What do you mean?” Is this one of those situations I’ve read wrong? Am I supposed to tell him about what I see in his brother?
“Since when do we keep secrets from each other?”
Is that what this is about? I scuff my shoe over the polished tile floors. “It’s not like that, it’s …” I sigh. “Maybe … we do, umm, need to talk about boundaries after all.”
“Why?”
I set my shoulders and draw up all the conviction I possess. Admittedly, it’s not a lot. But this is Seth. Seth who has always been there for me. Who’s supported me no matter what. “I’m not a child,” I blurt. “I know sometimes I’m a bit absentminded and forgetful and lose track of time, but I’m … I’m an adult now, and you can’t protect me from everything.”
“I don’t want people to take advantage of you. Especially not my brother.”
“Maybe that’s what I want though.”
“The fuck?”
I smile. “Do you know how nice it’s been to feel wanted? He doesn’t treat me with kid gloves or try to tone things down for me. And if he hurts me … I want that. I want to know what it’s like to have experienced that high even if it’s followed by a crushing low. Leaving you was the hardest choice I’ve ever made, but it was the right one.”
“Leaving … me?”
Time to come clean. “I didn’t only transfer because of Morris. That was part of it, but … I got into the master’s program and was offered a TA position at UVM. I didn’t take it.”
He doesn’t reply.
“Please don’t hate me.” I blink back the prickling of tears. “I relied on you too much. You’re my safe space. But you hated going out with your friends and leaving me alone, and you always saw it as your job to take care of me. It took me too long to catch on to what was happening. That’s why I transferred.”
His laugh is bitter. “And now you’ve replaced me with my brother.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I could never replace you. I couldn’t even move out of the same town. That’s why I’m telling you this—about the transfer and Foster. No secrets. I want you to know I’m okay with making mistakes, and it’s not your job to protect me from them. Even when Foster’s interest in me fizzles out, that doesn’t change things with us.”
“I wanna be so mad at you right now,” he mumbles.
“You know that never works.”
“I know.” He groans. “I want it noted anyway that I don’t think this is a good idea. But … what’s the next move?”
I swallow thickly and look down the hall. “I think I need to have a serious talk with Professor Lawrence. If you’re not going to try to stop us, it’s the final thing holding me back.”
“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he rushes to assure me.
“Yes, I do.” I push off the wall. “I’ve been comfortable for too long. This talk scares me, going to Foster and trying to seduce him scares me, him finding out