Posh Frocks & Peacocks - Tracie Podger Page 0,12

harass the birds when they were allowed to roam. How they’d fare against Gerald or Colleen was another matter, of course.

“We’ll leave them in the pen for a week then let them out during the daytime for a while, see how they get on,” Ronan said, before he and Dad headed back to the marquee.

Later that evening while we were all sitting around the dining table, using the family crockery, my parents had us all in stitches. I’d forgotten how funny they were and shocked by how unembarrassed I was. I guessed, having spent time on the estate with Petal and Eric, I just didn’t care anymore, and they weren’t a patch on Verity, of course.

Mum and I stood side by side and washed the crockery by hand, she had sent Maggie off with coffee into the living room, and it had been amusing to watch a battle for territory develop over the kitchen.

“I can’t tell you, baby girl, how pleased your dad and I for you,” Mum said, using a term she hadn’t in years.

I bumped shoulders with her. “Thanks, Mum. I can’t wait for this wedding. I don’t think I felt this way with Harry. Ronan seems to…it’s too clichéd to say he completes me but he does.”

She chuckled. “I know what you mean. Your dad might be a silly old fart most times but I can’t imagine life without him. I hope you get many years together,” she said, and then smiled.

We headed to the living room and joined the rest with coffee and more chat about respective lives and nudity.

As I had done many times, I sat back into the corner of the sofa and just observed. I watched laughter and happiness. I felt the warm glow of friends and family that got on so well and I let it wash over me.

“Are you crying?” Ronan whispered.

I hadn’t realised I was until he’d mentioned it. I felt wet tracks on my cheeks and wiped them away. “I’m happy. Just…super happy,” I said, and then laughed.

“She was always a crier, was my Elizabeth. Didn’t matter if she was happy or sad, watching a scary or sad movie, she always shed tears,” my dad said. I hadn’t noticed everyone was watching me.

“I'm happy, these are happy tears, and I’m hormonal and menopausal and…so bloody in love with this man!” I gave my explanation.

“I think that’s our cue to leave the lovebirds to make out,” Mum said. Charlie spat out his tea.

“Mother! We are not about to make out so you’re fine to finish your coffee.”

4

It was the day before the wedding. The campsite was full and we were, regrettably, turning people away. I wanted to curse the Heggartys and cuddle them at the same time. The news stations had been reporting on our Staycation for all, the clothed or unclothed, and on the whole the response had been overwhelmingly flattering. Of course, Mrs. Heggarty had managed to snatch a few minutes of airtime and it was with great pleasure we saw the reporter ask the twins what happened. One just shrugged and the other explained they threw mudballs at the weirdos. That earned a slap from their mother and more kudos for us.

“You need to take a break,” Mum said, coming into the office.

“I have so much to do, Mum. I will, later,” I replied, taking the camomile tea she’d brought in with her.

Although the office was empty, save for the two of us, she looked around and whispered, dramatically, “I thought that might help, you know…with your problem.”

“My menopause?” I asked, not sure camomile tea would do anything for that.

“You’re a little smelly…down below…darling,” she explained.

I sat, mouth open and wide-eyed glaring at her. I don’t think my mother had ever offered any personal advice before and I also wasn’t sure it was welcomed.

“Anyway, I’ll leave you to your work. The boys are out tonight, aren’t they? We have a lovely pamper evening in store for you,” she said, giving me a wink before leaving.

“What the…?” I hadn’t finished my sentence before I stood and rushed from the room.

I headed to the outside loo not caring about spiders or mice or any other critters. I pulled the door closed and immediately undid my jeans. I used my hand to waft but couldn’t smell anything. No one had mentioned a smell about me before. I was sure that Mags would, or Ronan, or Joe even. My cheeks were flaming at that point. I refastened my jeans and headed