responsibility. I just have to live with it. It was the way he raised me.
Harley squeezes my hand. “You don’t have to introduce me if you’re not ready. Knowing this part of you is enough for me.”
“I want to take you in there, but I don’t know how he’ll take it. He, uh, can’t speak. He’s lost nearly all movement except for a little on his left side. He does these half-smiles.”
“Can he communicate at all?”
“We figured out a system. He squeezes Morse code into my hand. I know he hates it, but just like I put on a happy face every time I see him, he always says everything is good when it’s not. This place … it’s not the best. The staff seem friendly and all, but it’s …”
“Basic.”
“It kills me knowing he can see everything and understand everything but he’s stuck in those four walls day in and day out without anything to do. It’s not like he can talk to the nurses to tell them if anything is wrong. He gets frustrated.”
“I can see how that’d be frustrating.”
“I want to do more for him. At least try to come see him more or something. The guilt eats at me.”
“You can bring me up here anytime you want to see your dad. Even if I stay in the car and write.”
My heart fills with more affection for Harley. “You’d do that for me?”
“I’d do a whole lot more if you’d let me, but I get the feeling that would be too much.” Our dynamic is flipped when Harley reaches for me. He cups my face. “I will do anything for you. Just like you want to protect me, I want to give you everything you need.”
I could ask for so many things right now, but I won’t. I won’t use him that way.
“I don’t want you to ever think I’m only with you because of what you can do for me.”
“I don’t. I won’t.”
“There’ll be no chance of doubt this way. But I will take you up on the offer to come up here with me. And … and I want you to come in.”
“R-really?” Hesitation etches its way onto Harley’s face. “I mean, uh … meeting the parents.” He whistles. “Big step. That’s like relationship stuff.”
I press my mouth to his in a soft, chaste kiss. “Good thing we’re in a relationship, then, am I right?”
Harley looks worried.
“Uh, right?” I press.
He hesitates. “I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it. I’m known to be a bit of a selfish boyfriend, you know. If my ex is anything to go by.”
“You? A famous pop star is selfish? Call the tabloids about this revelation.”
Harley shoves me. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, but I’m new to this too. I’ve never been in one place long enough to have a relationship, and with Mike Bravo … well, you saw Iris when his girl broke up with him. None of us are really relationship material.”
“What if I’m too much?”
I want to take him in my arms and squeeze him so hard he believes me when I say, “I know being with you means the majority of my time will be spent dealing with your life. It’s inescapable. But, Harley? Since working for you, I’ve realized I was born to be in the background. To be a protector. I was trained to stand in the darkness so the spotlight can shine on you.”
“What if I want you next to me?”
I slink back into my seat. “You and I both know that can’t happen while you’re still recording and making music.”
“What if I get out of my contract with the label and come out?”
I shake my head. “Won’t change anything. If it became public that you and I were together, I’d become famous in my own right, and there’s no way I could protect you if they’re all trying to get to me too.”
“I don’t want you to ever think that I want to hide you. That’s been a problem for me before.”
“Never. It’s the business you’re in. Hell, for a long time, before I started working for Trav, I was in the same boat. Maybe not exactly, but close.”
Harley glances out the windshield and back to me again. “I want to meet your dad.”
My breath gets caught in my throat. “Then let’s go.” It comes out more of a nervous bumble than confident, and Harley picks up on that.