This is exactly what made Harley and Jay break up. Harley had to choose between love and his career, and he chose wrong.
Or maybe it was right. If he’d chosen Jay, I wouldn’t be here.
I wouldn’t be with him.
“I can’t lose my job,” I say, but it’s more to myself than Trav.
Maybe I need to choose my career so Harley will find the one person he’s supposed to be with like his ex did.
My gut churns.
“And now I plain want to kick your ass.”
I’ve never heard my boss so disappointed.
“How did you cross so many lines? That’s not like you at all.”
“Harley … he …”
“He what? Forced you to fuck him? Tied you down and threatened to fire you if you didn’t?”
I pull back. “What? No. Nothing like that. He just … he was just … him. I can’t explain it.”
“It’s called chemistry. That’s all. I thought you, of all people, would rise above it.”
“If it was basic chemistry, I would have been able to stay away. It’s … it’s more than that.”
But can I really call it love? I want to be with him. I don’t want anything to hurt him. Is that love? I wouldn’t fucking know. This is all new to me.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
Ever.
Trav sighs. “I don’t want to make this call.”
“Then don’t. You should have faith I can do my job.”
“How can you do your job if emotion is clouding your judgment?”
“Trust me when I say I can compartmentalize.”
Trav rubs his temples. “I’m leaving this up to Gideon. Harley’s his client, and he has a right to know.”
“Shouldn’t Harley get a say in who protects him?”
“Can you stand there and honestly say your feelings for him won’t get in the way of protecting him?”
“Look, I’d understand if it were teammates hooking up because out in the field it could distract from the true target, but Harley is my target. So how could loving him screw that up?”
Trav glances around the room. “Love. Did … you just … Am I in the right place? I think I’m lost. I’m looking for Nolan Brixton Reins. He’s a serious workaholic with no love life and an attitude problem who’s a royal pain in my ass most days.”
I glare at him.
“Huh. Wow, this is weird. Of all the guys …”
“Are you done yet?” I ask.
“Oh, no, I’m just getting started.” His face lights up. “Iris is going to have a field day.”
In a flash, Trav is gone, and I begin to wonder if I’m in the wrong room.
That can’t have happened the way I think it did.
Trav is leaving it up to Gideon to decide if I’m fired or not?
I guess all I can do is hope Trav’s cousin is as morbidly fascinated with my love life as my boss seems to be.
Chapter Twenty-One
Harley
As angry as I am with Brix right now for not telling me about the surveillance on Billy Webber, when Trav comes back downstairs, I realize we have bigger problems. Like the secret we’ve been keeping from everyone.
“Hey, Gid, we need to talk,” Trav says.
Oh fuck. Yep, he knows.
Gideon follows his cousin into the house while Iris stays with me.
“How are you holding up?” Iris asks, taking my attention away from where Trav and my manager have disappeared. “Want me to take you inside or somewhere you feel safe?”
I shiver, but I don’t know if it’s from the fake bomb or what’s to come when Gideon finds out I crossed lines I shouldn’t have. Again.
I’m really good at it.
He wasn’t my manager when I started sleeping with Jay, but he knows all about it.
“I’m fine. It was a fake bomb.” Am I fine, though? I think I’m still in shock. “Could Brix get taken away from me for this?”
“Taken away? He could lose his job entirely. It’s obvious you guys are hooking up, and I don’t understand why Brix would jeopardize his job like that. Especially when …” His mouth slams shut.
“Especially when, what?”
“Nothing.”
“You do know more than you let on about him.”
Iris rolls his eyes. “Of course we all know. He thinks he’s being so secretive, but he seems to forget gathering intel is what we do for a living. None of us call him on it because it’s his burden to bear, and he clearly doesn’t want our help. We keep asking in hopes he’ll open up about it, but he doesn’t. He never does.”