own way, and we are good friends, but like all breakups in Hollywood, people will see what they want to see.
Our breakup is about to get ugly out there, and that’s without us really doing anything.
The microscope on our lives just zoomed in closer.
My gaze goes to Brix’s again.
I want to be the bigger person and tell him he’s off the hook—that I know my lifestyle is too much—but I’m too weak. Especially when it comes to love … well, potential love. Two blowjobs don’t equal love. Lust, fornication, and desire for more orgasms, sure. But not love.
Even if he is the only one who understands that the perfect guy everyone sees me as is nowhere close to the truth.
The truth is, I’m the label’s puppet, and I always have been.
At this rate, I always will be because I don’t know how to break free and keep everything I’ve worked for.
Chapter Sixteen
Brix
All day I’ve wanted to kiss the crap out of Harley and make him forget the shit he’s enduring right now, but I haven’t been able to.
He’s either been with Gideon or Evah or both.
I’ve wanted to text him from across the room to let him know I’m here for him, but anyone could see it over his shoulder, and I’ve seen in the tabloids about celebrities’ phones being hacked and posted all over the internet for the world to see.
Last night, after the show, being with Harley again … I don’t care if it’s a mistake or it puts my job in jeopardy.
His mere presence gives my life light again when it’s been nothing but darkness and adrenaline for the last four years.
This was never my plan. Hell, my original plan was to go career. I was never supposed to get out of the military let alone wind up babysitting a slightly neurotic but cute as hell pop star who has me interested in his life in ways I couldn’t have anticipated.
Harley needs someone in his life who’s above all the Hollywood bullshit. I want to be that guy, but the longer he goes without giving me eye contact, the more I think I’m not gonna be that guy for him.
When everyone’s gone for the night and I walk Harley to his room to check it like I always do, he stops me outside his door.
“You really don’t have to check it for me.”
“I know. I … but, uh …” I want to.
“I’m scared if I open this door and let you into my room, I’m not going to let you out of it.”
“Like a hostage situation? I’m good at negotiating those. Just so you know.” I put my arm around his back and pull him against me. “Really good.”
Harley smiles. “I’m sorry the last twenty-four hours have been a mess.”
“I’m sorry too,” I whisper.
“You didn’t do anything.”
“I know, but I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit to begin with. I’m not going to rant about how the label, the public, and every single person on this planet shouldn’t get a say in your life, what you do, what songs you sing, or who you sleep with, but no one cares about what they ‘shouldn’t’ be doing. They do whatever they want anyway. I want you to know I’m here for you in spite of all that.”
Harley’s eyes flutter shut. “You still want to stay? With me, I mean? My life is crazy, and I’d understand if—”
I cut him off with my mouth on his, but unlike our kiss last night that was interrupted, where we were all hot and needy, this is a different type of need.
It’s deeper.
It’s a promise of more. Of everything I want to give him.
Chances are this thing between us isn’t going to work out for a million different reasons, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting it.
I want Harley Valentine. The real Harley Valentine.
“I want you to fuck me,” I whisper against his lips.
Harley pulls back and tilts his head. “You mean … like …”
I grin. “You want specifics? I want your cock in my ass. How’s that for specific?”
“You … you do that?”
“You don’t? I can go either way, but I like it when a guy can overpower me and fuck me until I can’t think.”
“Uh, uh, umm, that’s … I can do that.”
“Are you sure? You don’t sound too confident.”
“I’ve, uh … I …”
“You can’t be a virgin. I’ve met your ex-boyfriend. He screams sex.”
“No. Not a virgin, but, like, I’ve only been with two guys, and in